Kitty: Okay, everyone. Here's lunch. Hot dog soup!
Hyde: [groans] No more hot dogs! I'll just eat the grilled cheese.
Kitty: You mean, grilled cheese with hot dogs.
Red: Kitty, for God's sakes, I ate 14 hot dogs yesterday!
Kitty: Well, what do you want me to do, Red? They're everywhere. They're a curse on this house!
Red: Oh, fine. Let's make some calls. Maybe we can unload the damn things on a nursery school.

Eric: You guys, I have let this thing with Casey go way too far.
Hyde: Yeah, no kidding. Donna's pretty far gone. She's starting to lash out at people at barbecues. You gotta kick his ass, man.
Fez: Hyde, Eric cannot beat Casey with his fists. He's a special boy who must beat him with his special strengths. Now, let's think. What is Eric's special strengths?
[fantasy:]
Fez: Welcome back to TV's favorite game show, Get Into That Box. Now let's meet our returning champion, Eric Forman.
Eric: Thanks. Good to be back, Fez. Let's meet our challenger, Casey Kelso. Casey Kelso, it's time to...
Audience: Get Into That Box.
Casey: [box breaks] How does he do it?
Donna: He's so tiny!
[reality:]
Fez: I would watch that show.

Eric: Guys, I'm going over to Casey's. And I don't know what I'm gonna do. But if things get physical, I'm just gonna have to drop the hammer.
Hyde: And if all else fails, kick him in the stones and run like hell.
Eric: Yeah, that's what I meant by "drop the hammer."

Kelso: Guess what. I read your little "everything's my fault" article and I realized why I cheated. Remember the first time I kissed Pam Macy?
Jackie: Behind the gym?
Kelso: And in the gym, and in her car. But, anyway... Earlier that day, I didn't have any money to buy you Tater Tots. And you said that I'd never be able to support you, 'cause I wasn't smart enough. And you're always putting me down like that, and it makes me feel bad about myself. And that is why I cheated.
Jackie: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
Kelso: Just like that. And then I thought about it, and I realized that I'm not sorry either!
[fantasy: Jackie and Kelso are back in the boxing ring when he lands a blow]
Jackie: Michael, what are you saying?
Kelso: I'm saying that we're not right for each other, because you make me feel bad. And... And... I don't think I can be with you anymore. I want to break up.
Jackie: Wait, break up? No, no. Michael, I was wrong. Please, let's talk about this.
Kelso: No.
Jackie: Wait, but Michael.

Eric: Oh, Hyde, get this. Casey just came by to pick up Donna and he was out in the street just revving his Trans Am real loud and then he peels out in the street and he started doing doughnuts. And then, out comes Donna, all smiling and, like, looking at him.
Hyde: What a slut.
Eric: Look. If she wants to date him, that's fine. But he doesn't have to be all loud and jerky about it. Jerky, loud, doughnut jerk.

Eric: Hey, you guys are just in time. Fez was telling me about, uh, some kind of problem you're having with Rhonda.
Fez: Yeah. Rhonda won't let me get past second base, and I really want to explore further.
Eric: Mmm. Gosh. Well, I don't know I think if you're patient, and you're respectful when Rhonda's ready, she'll, uh... she'll wave you over.
Fez: Well, thank you, Eric. That is very gentlemanly advice.
Eric: Gentlemanly? Well, uh, guilty as charged, I guess. [chuckles] Hey, Casey, uh, what do you think?
Casey: Well, sometimes a seasoned lady like Rhonda she's gotten used to the usual order of things. So, I think the next time you're fooling around just, uh, skip second and go right to third.
Eric: What?
Fez: It's genius! [to Eric] No wonder you never get any.
Donna: Yeah, with Rhonda, you know, that just might work.
Eric: W-Wait, you like that?
Donna: Well, the words are wrong, but they sound so good coming out of his mouth.
Casey: I got a way about me.
Hyde: That worked out [as Daffy Duck] "thuper."

Eric: Hey, Donna, uh, would you like a hot dog?
Donna: Um, maybe half.
[Casey pulls a knife out of his pocket and cuts the hot dog in half]
Eric: Whoa, man, you carry a knife?
Casey: Yeah. You never know when a lady's gonna need a half a hot dog. It's funny man. You're the boy Sscout, but I'm the one who's prepared.
Fez: He's like a gladiator.
Eric: Okay, that's it. I'm bringing out the big guns. Oh, yeah. I'm introducing him to my folks.

Eric: Oh, hey, Mom, meet Casey. This is Donna's new boyfriend.
Kitty: Well, you're certainly not a girl! [chuckles]
Casey: Nice to meet you, Mrs. Forman. You know, you couldn't have picked a prettier day to win a year's supply of hot dogs.
Kitty: [giggles] Yeah, sure is a hot dog. [giggles]
Eric: Mom?
Kitty: Sorry, honey, it's just... He's just... I am sure you are much smarter.
Red: Kitty, the idiot neighbors drank all my beer.
Eric: Uh-oh. You're in a bad mood. Hey, meet Casey.
Casey: Pleasure, sir. Hey, maybe I can help. I always keep an spare case of beer in the Trans Am. Little tip I picked up in the army.
Red: I don't know. Seems like a pretty good kid.
Kitty: Uh-huh.

Hyde: So, you and Casey, huh?
Donna: Look, Hyde, whatever you heard about Casey, he's changed now. He's- He's mature.
Hyde: Oh, yeah. He's real mature.
Donna: Well, I like him. We're together, and if you can't deal with that, then you can just go to hell!
Hyde: Hey, that's not barbecue language, young lady.

Casey: Here's that beer, sir. I got a soda for the minor. [to Eric] Now, you make sure to drink that real slow 'cause I don't want you to get a tummy ache, little guy.
Kitty: Well, that's thoughtful.
Red: Yeah, he cramps up easy.