Fez: Well, I'm off to the candy shop. My Everlasting Gobstopper just crapped out on me.

Kelso: Fez, I was sleeping in Casey's room and I think somehow I had one of his dreams, 'cause I did it with... [sees Jackie and Donna] Hey, guys.
Jackie: No, no, Michael. Finish your sentence. You did it with...
Kelso: A hat on? A-And you. You, me and a hat. It was hot.
Fez: Of course it was. Everything's better with a hat. Come on, fellas. Put a hat on. The lady deserves it.
Donna: What were you doing in Casey's bed anyway?
Kelso: Oh, when he's out of town, I like to skank it up by skipping a couple showers and sleeping in it naked.
Jackie: Michael, tell me more about this dream. Was anyone else there?
Kelso: Jackie, why would I have a sexy dream with anyone besides you? Hey, Donna.

Red: Did you take my car out last night?
Eric: No.
Red: I know you didn't. Guess how I know! I stuck a hair across the ignition.
Eric: A hair acro- You know, someday I'm gonna use that on my son.
Red: Anyway, since I know I can trust you, I'm gonna let you drive it. [tosses Eric the keys]
Eric: I finally get to drive it? Wow! Okay, uh, where does the key go?
Red: Start her up.
Eric: Okay. [radio plays rock music] And I'm grounded.
Red: For a month! Why did you do it?
Eric: To impress this cheerleader.
Red: No kidding? Well, then make it two weeks. So, uh, you gonna see her again?
Eric: Well, can I have the car again?
Red: Oh, she's that girl. I know that girl. Stay away from that girl.

Kelso: Hey, guess who's dropping Jackie off here after cheerleading practice? Leslie Cannon.
Fez: Ah, Leslie Cannon. Nickname: The Cannon. Why? Because she always shoots Eric down.
Hyde: Man, you were so in love with her. Remember in the seventh grade when she asked you your name and you got all panicky and said, "Uh-bluh"?
Kelso: Yeah, and then she called you "Uh-bluh" for, like, the next two years. That was awesome.

Red: I still don't see why we have to spend the night. It only took me 30 minutes to get caught up with everyone at my high school reunion.
Kitty: Oh, well, standing in the corner muttering "dumbass" at everyone doesn't count as getting caught up. I can't wait to see some dear, old girlfriends. Like the Miller twins. God, I hope they're fat.
Red: Oh, crap. There's no way that all these bags are gonna fit in here. Oh, geez, I was really looking forward to taking this baby out on the highway. Well, we'll just have to take two cars.
Kitty: No, we'll take the Toyota. I can bring another dress. Shows a little more leg so Stuart McDaniel can see what he missed out on.

Leslie: So, uh, whose car is this?
Eric: Oh, uh, it's my dad's- [Kelso kicks Eric] ...tough luck that it's mine.
Leslie: So, what kind of engine is in this thing?
Eric: Oh, well, it's, uh... It's a multi-piston 200. That's, uh, twice as powerful as the... the 100.

Eric: Oh, my God. What have I done?
Hyde: Well, you're using your dad's dream car to get with a totally hot chick who would otherwise never date you.
Eric: Well, when you put it like that, it just sounds right.

Hyde: Forman, I can't believe you're actually gonna take out Red's Corvette.
Fez: Yeah, and I can't believe you're wearing brown shoes with a black belt. That's just tacky.
Eric: Guys, the odometer's busted. The odometer's busted! That's a sign from God. God loves me. He wants me to steal the car. Besides, I think I've learned most of Red's tricks now like this one: The old "strand of hair across the ignition" trap.
Hyde: Yeah, you're a regular Green Beret, Forman.
Fez: Oh, please. With that outfit, a green beret is the last thing he needs.

Hyde: They're coming home early. You know what this means?
Fez: Yeah, we have to hurry up and find Eric.
Hyde: No. We have to hurry up and finish the rest of Red's beer. Hopefully, Forman'll get blamed for that too.

Eric: Well, the good news is, I found the hubcap in a huge field of mud. And the other good news is, in about a hundred years some archaeologist is gonna be thrilled to find my shoes.