‘Donna Dates a Kelso’
Season 4, Episode 16 - Aired February 5, 2002
After Eric is named as the high school's most eligible bachelor, Jackie sets Donna up on a date with Kelso's brother, Casey (Luke Wilson). Meanwhile, Fez is hopeful his time has come with Rhonda, and Red has his eyes on a Corvette.
Quote from Eric
Eric: Casey Kelso, huh? Better luck next time.
Donna: No, actually, I think I might go out with him again.
Eric: [laughs] Okay! [off Donna's look] What- Okay. But, um, I have just two words for you: Donna Kelso.
Donna: See you.
Eric: What- No! But think of the children! Little redheaded morons. They'd have to go to special schools. It'd be expensive. [to himself] Donna and Casey? [laughs] He's a Kelso!
Quote from Fez
Fez: Behold, my friends. Your lovable foreign exchange student Fez has done it. With a woman. [the guys stare at Fez] Fine. I'm still a virgin! You forced it out of me. Stop looking at me!
Quote from Hyde
Eric: [enters] Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Hyde: "Skinny Dill-hole Talks Like an Idiot"? Yeah, yeah. I read it.
Quote from Donna
Eric: Oh, hey, Donna. Hey, um, did you see the school paper?
Donna: Oh, yeah. Field hockey team's going to state. Whoo-hoo!
Eric: Uh-oh. Looks like someone doesn't wanna talk about the new Most Eligible Viking. Look, Donna, this whole, uh, "Most Eligible" thing has really taught me something. Um, I'm pretty. So, what do you say, like, we officially start dating other people?
Donna: Oh, I've been waiting for your permission. And can I stay out past 9:00, please, please?
Eric: Okay. As long as you're gonna be cool when you see me with one, two or seven of Point Place's juiciest tomatoes.
Hyde: It's just like old times. Eric and Donna talking about meaningless crap that affects only them. I've missed it so.
Fez: I have missed it. I don't have a lot going on.
Quote from Kitty
Red: Hey, look here. That '58 Corvette down at the used-car lot is still for sale.
Kitty: Oh, and look here. That diamond bracelet down at the mall is still for sale.
Quote from Hyde
Eric: Okay, you guys, which one of these lucky ladies gets to go out with Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking?
Hyde: Start with the gymnastics team, but go with the second string - just as limber and somethin' to prove.
Quote from Kelso
Eric: How about her?
Kelso: Yeah, I made out with her once.
Eric: Okay, I don't want my tongue where Kelso's tongue has been.
Kelso: Oh, you better stay away from your mom then. [Eric punches Kelso's arm] I was kidding!
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: [gasps] Look at him. Donna, you have to start dating, or you're gonna look pathetic. And I'm gonna look pathetic for being seen with you. I know. I'll set you up.
Donna: Uh-uh.
Jackie: Okay, if you don't wanna do this, just say so.
Donna: I don't wanna do it.
Jackie: Oh, you don't know what you want.
Quote from Bob
Red: Well, Bob, thanks for insisting on coming along.
Bob: So, Red, what's so special about this thing? It's barely got a trunk. Where do you put the groceries?
Red: This car isn't about groceries. It's about freedom.
Bob: Speaking of freedom, they got free doughnuts.
Quote from Bob
Red: Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's plenty of leg room in here.
Bob: Oh. Glad you like it. I just bought it.
Red: You what?
Bob: Yeah, I'm picking' it up tomorrow. Sure hope that trunk will hold my sombreros.