Quote from Eric in Holy Craps!
[fantasy: a balding, middle-aged Eric is at the table when an overweight, middle-aged Donna sits down and smokes a cigarette:] Eric: Oh, hey, did I tell you- Donna: Heard it! Who ate the last doughnut? Eric: I did. Donna: Son of a bitch. Eric: You ate the first 11! Donna: Oh, shut up! [coughs] Eric: No, I won't. I weigh 80 pounds. Look at you! Do you know why I'm bald? My body is eating its own hair!