Red: Good morning.
Kitty: Hi, Red. You're up early. You're retired. You should be sleeping in.
Red: Yeah, well, I was awoken by the pleasant sound of birds chirping outside my window. And now that I don't have to work, I finally have time to poison them.
Kitty: I feed those birds bread every day.
Red: Good. That'll make it easier.
Hyde: Red, I don't think you have embraced retirement yet. What you need to do is get yourself a robe, go sit out on the porch, then shake your fists and yell stuff like, "Dagnabit! Why I ought to..."
Red: I have to say, I looked forward to retirement as much as I looked forward to playing catch with my son. And both of them have left me bitterly disappointed.