Hyde: Hey, Red, I got a question for you. My wife says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day. So I'm off the hook, right?
Red: Let me tell you a little story. There was a woman, a newlywed. And she told her husband, "Rather than waste money on gifts, save for retirement." And so he never bought her a gift. Not for Christmas, birthdays, never. And 50 years later, she thanked him. And you know who that woman was?
Hyde: No.
Red: That woman was the invisible dancing fairy of Dumbass Land. All women want gifts.