Eric: Ah! I can't believe you finally sprung for cable TV. Wasn't it you who said, "I'd rather kiss Ho Chi Minh than pay for TV"?
Red: Well, your mother and I are running out of things to talk about, so... I thought the extra 20 channels might help fill in the gaps.
Hyde: Wait a second. Cable guy left? He forgot to hook up the basement.
Red: No, he didn't so much forget, as follow my "don't hook up the basement" instructions.
Hyde: But, Red, for an extra two bucks a month, your wife and children could be enjoying full-frontal nudity.
Red: But I don't want you to enjoy anything. I want people your age out of my house.
Eric: Hey, I'm only here 'cause you had a heart attack.
Red: I only had a heart attack because you're here.