Eric: God, this is so sad. It's like, what have we been doing with our lives?
[flashback to the boys playing cards in a circle in Forman's basement:]
Young Hyde: Hey, Kelso, who's got stronger powers, I Dream of Jeannie or Samantha from Bewitched?
Young Kelso: That's easy. Samantha. Witches totally beat genies 'cause witches can fly. Game over.
Young Eric:Hey, why does Jeannie wear those see-through clothes? It's gross. And it makes me feel funny.
[flashback to the guys as teenagers in a circle in Eric's basement:]
Young Hyde: No way is Samantha hotter than Jeannie! Hey, I heard they made an episode they never aired where Jeannie gets totally naked. The government banned it.
Young Kelso: All I know is, with one little nose twitch Samantha's clothes could be off! And that's hot.
Young Eric: What if you didn't have to choose? What if you could be with both at the same time?
Young Kelso: Is that legal?
Young Hyde: Hey, man, if you don't get caught everything's legal. Stolen pretzel?
[flashback to the guys in a circle:]
Eric: Guys, this conversation is over. Yesterday, Samantha went back in time. That trumps anything Jeannie ever did.
Kelso: Oh, yeah? Well, Jeannie can freeze time. So, Samantha would go back, and Jeannie could just freeze her there. Who kicked whose ass then?
Hyde: You know what would decide this whole thing? A little Samantha-on-Jeannie mud wrestling. I'd pay a dollar to see that.
Fez: All I know is, Samantha helps Darrin at work but what does Jeannie do for Major Nelson? Turns his boss into a monkey. This is not helpful.
Donna: I've got to call Major Nelson's sexuality into question here. I mean, any guy who's got a half-naked genie, he's got her doing more than his laundry.
Jackie: Hey, you know what would be best? Samantha's hair, Jeannie's pretty bottle room and Wonder Woman's accessories. [imitates bullets ricocheting]
Hyde: Hey, guys. We've been talking about this for a really, really long time.

Eric: All right, you guys. I think it's ready. I'm off to pop.
Jackie: Wait a minute. I hate that quote. My name isn't anywhere in that quote.
Kelso: Okay, fine. You know, I'll just make my quote "What a long, strange trip it's been with Jackie Burkhart."
Jackie: Yeah, okay but without the "long, strange trip" part.
Kelso: All right. So I'll just write, "I love Jackie Burkhart."
Jackie: Okay.

Jackie: Now, Michael. Michael, for your yearbook picture don't forget to do the over-the-shoulder shot. That's the best one. [looks over shoulder]
Kelso: Ah, yeah. I love that pose. It makes me look coy.

Hyde: Oh. Hey, guys, Tommy Hedges just got his picture taken with a big, old booger.
Eric: So, why were you in Tommy Hedges's picture? [chuckles]
Donna: So, wait. He had a booger, and you didn't tell him?
Hyde: He'll find out. It'll be in the yearbook.
Fez: It's true. That's how I found out I was adorable.

[flashback to 1968:]
Bob: I'm Bob Pinciotti. This is my daughter, Donna. My wife Midge'll be over later. Her thumb's caught in something right now.
Kitty: Well, we've all done that. [off Red's look] I guess. Well, I'm Kitty, and this is Red and this is our son Eric. [giggles] Eric, say hello to Donna.
[Love hearts appear over Eric's head as he stares at Donna]
Young Donna: What are you looking at, string bean? [punches Eric in the stomach]
Young Eric: [gasps] Wow. You're strong.

Eric: Yeah, go ahead and laugh. None of you were punched by Madam Man-fist here.
Donna: You were creepy. What can I say?
Hyde: Forman beat up by a girl. Seems like only yesterday. Oh, wait. I think it happened yesterday too.

Fez: I don't know. I like to bathe with friends. They can reach places you can't.
Kelso: Yeah. That's probably best kept to yourself, buddy.

[flashback to 1976:]
Kelso: And then Potsie says, "Sit on it." [laughs] Right to the Fonz's face! Now, that's brave.
Hyde: Hey, what's with Donna?
Eric: What? We're just friends. God, why would you even ask that? I don't like her. Me and Donna? It's- It's gross!
Hyde: Hey, man, I was just asking why she wasn't in class today.
Eric: Oh. Well, then, never mind.
Kelso: Busted!

Kelso: Seriously, man. You keep hurting my eye.
Jackie: That's a terrible story. I'm not even in that one.
Hyde: That's what makes it good.

Eric: Okay, people, please remain calm. I'm still zit-free. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it!