Jackie: Hello, Steven.
Hyde: Jackie. [crosses arms] You wanna talk?
Jackie: What would I have to say to you?
Hyde: I don't know, how about, "I'm a crazy, spoiled, whack job, and I'm sorry."
Fez: That's no way to talk to a woman.
Kelso: Yeah, especially a spoiled, crazy, whack job. She's liable to kill you.

Eric: Aw, look at our poor little tough guy, hurting others to ease his own pain.
Kelso: I think someone needs a tickle.
Fez: No, I'm okay.
Eric: Look, Hyde, we're your best friends, and we're here for you, okay. We're not gonna let you go through this thing alone.
Hyde: Would you shut up, Forman? I'm fine.
Kelso: You know what, Eric's right. We're gonna do what guys do for each other.
Fez: A massage train?

Jackie: This is a nightmare. White suit with yellow belt! Okay, Jackie O couldn't even pull this off on Easter.
Instructor: Donna-san, you brought a friend?
Donna: Yes, sensei, this is Jackie.
Instructor: Welcome, Jackie-san. Now, today we'll be focusing on self-defense. Let's say someone is accosting you in a dark alley.
Jackie: Oh, that doesn't work for me. I'd never be in an alley 'cause I'm not poor. And even if I was ever in an alley, I'd have a boy with me to protect me.
Donna: Jackie, you're not always gonna be with a guy. You're not with one now. [off Jackie's look] And, no, I don't count.
Instructor: An assault can happen anywhere, Jackie-san. The point is, someone wants to do you harm.
Jackie: But they don't. All right, maybe someone would follow these other women to do them harm, but when people follow me, it's to ask me where I get my hair done or to just give me presents.
Donna: That's true. I've seen it.
Jackie: Yeah.

Man: May I speak to your parents?
Eric: There's no need. I'll go quietly.
Man: Uh, I'm just delivering the hand vac Mrs. Forman ordered.
Kelso: Okay, I'm the one who called, and all I was saying is beware of the death ray.
Man: Yeah, I'll do that. By the way, the whole neighborhood can smell what you're doing.

Red: Kitty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw you to the floor. It's just that that was the first fish I caught this year. That was a nice perch, it was a big perch, might have been a state-record perch. If it means anything, you're my state-record lady.
Kitty: Okay, I guess I forgive you.
Red: I knew you'd understand. I mean fish are really hard to catch, but you, I can't get rid of.
Kitty: Can't get rid of me?
Red: I can't get rid of you from my heart. You see what happens when you come fishing.

Kelso: Okay, so there's one thing I don't get. If nobody was after us all day, then why did the Feds send a spy vacuum?
Fez: Why don't you call them up and ask?
Kelso: That's a good idea.
Eric: No! You don't get to touch that any more.

Kelso: Okay. So, Hyde, first day without Jackie. Not a good start, huh?
Hyde: Are you kidding man? I haven't burned out this hard in years. I'd do it all again tomorrow but I'm exhausted. I might have to go back to work.
Fez: Look at our brave little boy hiding his sadness behind bluster. Don't worry, I'm sure Jackie's just as miserable as you are.

Jackie: Oh, I feel so good. This is so much better than staying home all day, crying about Steven.
Donna: You were a total badass.
Jackie: I'm not afraid of anything. Oh, my God!
[Jackie and Donna are chased by a pack of dogs]