Kitty: You know, Red, it really upset me this afternoon when you wouldn't say anything nice to Eric.
Red: Well, I can see how that would surprise you, what with nice things always bubbling out of my mouth.
Kitty: Well, it would just mean a lot to me to hear you say how you feel. Don't you even miss him?
Red: Well, let's say I did. I still wouldn't feel comfortable saying it on tape.
Kitty: Well, would it kill you just to say it to me here in private?
Red: Oh, fine! I miss him! Of course I miss him. He's my son. Why do you always make me say things? [exits]
Kitty: [picks up tape recorder] Yeah. I should be in the FBI.

Hyde: [records] So anyway, Forman, ramble on, keep on keeping on, most of all, my friend, rock on.
Kitty: You know, I never used to understand that hippie jargon, but ever since my "bathroom experiment," I'm cool, man!

Donna: Mrs. Forman, what a great idea, making a tape to send to Eric in Africa.
Kitty: Oh, please, I am full of great ideas. [chuckles] When he went to camp, I sent him a huge card with my face on it that says, "Mommy loves you." [laughs] Well, it made him miss me so much he begged to come home the very next day.
Donna: Ah, yes, the summer of 1,000 wedgies.

Kitty: Eric is going to be so excited to hear some familiar voices.
Fez: Oh. I do Porky Pig. [imitates Porky Pig] That is all, people!

Kelso: Is Hyde here?
Kitty: No, Michael, you're safe. We still haven't heard from Steven since he left Chicago a month ago.
Kelso: I don't even know what I'm doing here. Hyde could show up any minute and kick my ass. I really need a soda 'cause I just ate a whole bunch of salt. Why is it so good?
Fez: I don't know. Why don't you ask Hyde? He is right behind you.
Kelso: [screams] That's not even funny!

Kitty: Okay, then, let's start the tape. [records] Hi, Eric, it's your mother. I'm here with Donna and Fez.
Donna: Hi, honey. Thank you for the postcard with the monkeys. I'm still bananas about you, too.

Kitty: [records] Actually, Eric, you leaving was very hard on your father. The next day he just sat around moping.
[flashback:]
Red: I feel like dancing! [dances] [throws Star Wars model out the door]
[present:]
Kitty: By the way, Eric, we gave some of your toys to the church.

Kitty: [records] Give up, Eric? That's a deck of cards hitting a bottle of soy sauce.
Donna: Eric, please come home. You have no idea how much I miss you.
Kitty: I miss you, too, honey. I don't think I'll be happy until I see you again.
Hyde: [enters] Hey.
Kitty: [shouts] Steven's home. [hugs Hyde]
Fez: Okay, Miss Kitty, he doesn't like to be hugged. [hugs Hyde] Don't you ever leave me again!

Kelso: I spilled my soda... Hyde. I don't know what to say, man.
Hyde: What about, "Ow"?
Kelso: Why would I say, "Ow"? [Hyde punches Kelso in the face] Ow! [chuckles] I get it!

Kitty: [records] Eric, Steven just hit Michael. And while I'm very disappointed in Steven for hitting Michael, it was very exciting!