Eric: Well, I, for one, love my job. Wanna know why? I have no job. Yeah, it's one of the benefits of taking the year off.
Donna: Speaking of that, how did that all-day marathon go on the Slip 'n Slide?
Eric: Pretty good. Except for around hour three when I got a pretty serious owie.
Hyde: Yeah, when you went in for a juice, I slipped a rock under there.
Eric: Anyway, today I will be chasing butterflies. Tomorrow, I'm gonna break out the giant bubble wand.
Kelso: What'd you do? Go down the clearance aisle at the drug store?
Eric: Yes, I did. You'll all be happy to know you'll be receiving goody bags containing Fourth of July socks, corn starch and a calendar from 1972.

Red: Okay, I think we're nearly set up for business. Thanks for helping. Or standing around saying, "Ew, grease." Oh, Steven, you already got that muffler together?
Hyde: Yeah, well, you know, metal shop was my favorite class. I went to, like, half of them.
Red: You know, I need an extra set of hands around here. How'd you like the job?
Jackie: No, Steven, you can't. I mean, don't take this personally, Mr. Forman, but guys who work in muffler shops are bottom feeders.
Hyde: Jackie.
Jackie: What? I said, "Don't take this personally." What else can I do?
Hyde: Jackie, I gotta take this job. Are you kidding me? I mean, I'm good with my hands, I don't mind dirt, and I have a high tolerance for fumes.
Jackie: Fine, if it makes you happy, then I'm happy. Steven, why is it everything that I love about you also grosses me out? You're so complicated.

Hyde: All right, I gotta take off. Gonna go have lunch with my new dad.
Jackie: Oh. Bring a camera and get a picture. Steven, you don't have any family pictures.
Hyde: Well, we have some really good ones of my mom, down at the county jail. One full face, two profiles, each one dated and numbered.
Jackie: Oh, Steven, you've had the hardest life. You know, I should probably be more generous and considerate with you. But I am what I am.

Kitty: Okay, we are going to make this the prettiest muffler shop ever.
Red: Really, all I wanted was a grand opening sign.
Kitty: And you've got one. In needlepoint.
Red: Kitty, that's so tiny.
Kitty: Needlepoint is very hard work. You never appreciate anything I do. You should have just married Betty Parker.
Red: No, no, what I meant was, it's so tiny like your waist.
Kitty: Thank you.

Red: Eric, you wanna hand me the manifold?
Eric: The manifold. [picks up cloth] Manifold. Man, I folded that.
Kitty: Eric, are you ready to help me decorate?
Eric: Yes. Now I was thinking we could line this counter here with red-white-and-blue bunting.
Red: How is it that I raised a son who knows bunting but not manifold?
Eric: Well, maybe the problem is that you were never around.
Red: I was always around.
Eric: Yeah, maybe that was the problem.

Fez: Never been to a beauty salon. I'm excited to see how they make people beautiful. Especially that lady over there, that's gonna take some work.
Donna: Well, Fez, I don't know how long I'm gonna be here, so no wandering off. You gave me a hell of a scare the other day at the mall.
Fez: Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just enjoying my time away from the DMV. All those foreigners. Learn to speak garbled English, people.
Donna: Well, the last time I was here, they were looking for help. And they have no idea how weird you are.
Fez: That is an advantage. What's the job?
Donna: Shampoo boy.
Fez: Shampoo boy? You mean I will get paid to touch hair? I used to get in so much trouble for that.

Eric: Hey, Mom, guess what Hyde just told me?
Kitty: If it's tawdry, I don't wanna hear it.
Eric: No. Dad offered him a job at the muffler shop. And did I even get an offer? No, like I wasn't there, too. Like I was all sore from hanging all that bunting.
Kitty: Well, sweetie, don't take it so hard. Your father's always had a soft spot for Steven. But he loves you, too. I just know it.
Eric: Well, you know what I think? If Dad loves Hyde so much, maybe he should marry him.
Kitty: Honey, that's not possible. Your father's already married to me.
Eric: What? No, Mom, it's an expression.
Kitty: Well, it's not a very good one. 23 skidoo. Now, that's an expression.
Eric: Yes. That's what I should have said.

Red: Kitty, look. I framed one of my "Grand Opening" fliers. Now, if the shop's a success, I'll have a souvenir. And if not, I'll have something to glare at while I'm drinking.

Kitty: And you know what else is a very good idea? Offering Eric a job, just like you did Steven.
Red: Kitty, I can only afford to hire one person.
Kitty: And why can't that one person be your very own son?
Red: Because my very own son can't do anything.
Kitty: Now, that's not true. Just today he caught the most beautiful butterfly.
Red: Well, if a giant butterfly is tearing up the shop, I'll call Eric.
Kitty: I'm not sure I want him to face a "giant" butterfly.

Red: Bob, I'll tell you what my gimmick is gonna be. Good service at a fair price.
Bob: Oh, please, leave that stuff to the Japanese.