Eric: Sorry, guys. I'm going to the movies with Donna. You know, it's like we hardly see each other, now that she got that job at the radio station.
Hyde: Yeah, you're the wife of a famous radio personality. Go bake me a pie, Martha.
Eric: Oh, my God. Donna's on the radio. She's doing the farm report right now. [turns radio on]
Donna: [on radio] And in pork belly news, prices have risen to nearly 54 cents per pound. Mmm-mmm, bacon!
Eric: Pork belly prices. [chuckles] How cute is that?
Donna: [on radio] And I'll be back at 3:00, 4:00 and 5:00 with more updates. Until then, keep on farmin'. Is that okay? I just added that. I did hit the button. Oh!

Eric: She's staying late again? Oh, God. How much fast-breaking pork belly news can there possibly be? That's it. I'm going down there. [exits]
Fez: Well, that conversation's going to go badly.
Hyde: How do you know?
Fez: I put a stink bomb in his back pocket.

Eric: You're doing the rest of the farm reports? Come on. I thought we were going to the movies.
Donna: Well, Janice called in sick, so- Why do you smell like butt?
Eric: That is none of your business, okay? Okay, Donna, look. I think we need to talk. I think this job is really cutting into your Eric time.
Donna: My "Eric time"?
Eric: And I'm very concerned about your diminishing Eric time, because it directly affects me, you know. [chuckles] I'm Eric.

Eric: Tickets?
Donna: Yeah, I know I've been working a lot lately, and I wanted to make it up to you, so I got Max to hook us up with Ted Nugent tickets for everybody!
Eric: The Motor City Madman? No way! Oh, my disappointment is melting into a mixture of excitement and guilt.
Donna: Great. That's what I was going for.

Kitty: I said, you're in big trouble, Red Forman. You're thinking of some other girl. That's not how we met at all.
Red: Oh. Oh! Uh-oh.

Jackie: God, Michael, this was the most magical night.
Kelso: You know, during the concert, I rewrote some of Ted Nugent's songs with your name in it. Okay, which one do you like better "Cat Scratch Jackie" or "Jackie Scratch Fever"?
Jackie: I love them both!

Max: Well, you know, I'm starting to come down. I mean, I'm getting tired. Uh, why don't you take this?
Donna: Oh, my God. A backstage pass.
Eric: Oh, yeah! Oh, too bad there's only one, huh?
Donna: I'll be back in five minutes, I swear.
Eric: You're going?
Donna: Well, don't you want me to?
Eric: Of course... I do. That's why I said, "Oh, you're going! Yay!" [chuckles]
Donna: You're the best! [exits]
Eric: Yeah, that's- Yeah, that's good. That's nice for her.
Max: You'll never see her again. That's how I lost my first wife. Damn you, Donny Osmond!

Fez: T-shirts! Get your crappy, misspelled T-shirts! Can't enjoy the after-party without your crappy, misspelled T-shirts!
Hyde: I rue the day I took you under my wing, my foreign friend.
Fez: I'm sorry you feel that way, Hyde, but I think that the time we spended together has taught us each a little bit about tolerance, humanity, friendship.
Hyde: Whatever.

Jackie: Ew! Michael, someone blew chunks.
[Kelso takes a mispelled t-shirt from Hyde and lays it down over the vomit]
Kelso: May I escort you across the vomit, my lady?
Jackie: Why, thank you, good sir.
Hyde: I hate them.
Fez: You just bought yourself a barfy Todd Nugent T-shirt, mister!
Hyde: Fez. It's Ted!

Eric: It's not just tonight, you know. Yeah, she's been blowing me off more and more. And she thinks I'll take it, but I won't. Uh-uh.
Janitor: Can you lift your feet, please?
Eric: Sorry.
Janitor: And I'm not listening to your little story so you really need to stop talking to yourself.