Red: Kitty, what's the matter with you?
Kitty: Oh, well, I... I don't... I don't want to ruin our nice night out because, boy, Midge, you can really melt a super pot of cheese, but, um... I think I want another baby.
Midge: Really? You like my cheese?

Eric: I'm not wrong. Women take care of babies. They do.
Laurie: Listen to him, Marissa. He whines like a girl, but he's not a girl. Or maybe he is.
Eric: The thing is, Donna's really good at it. I mean, I could understand you not wanting to stay home with your children. You already have such a fulfilling career as a whore.
Laurie: Listen, twerp. Did you ever think maybe it's not that she doesn't want to have babies? Maybe she just doesn't want to have your skinny, whiny girl-trapped-in-a-boy-body babies.
Eric: Okay. That's one for you.

Kelso: I'm cold.
Fez: That must be why your nipples are so pointy. [Kelso hits Fez] Oh, pointy nipple man is mad. I hope he doesn't poke me with his pointy nipples.
Hyde: All right. That was really disturbing.

Hyde: Okay. Here we go. According to my calculations, for repairs to the van Jackie, you owe Kelso $65.
Kelso: Aha! Justice!
Hyde: Yeah. And, Kelso, you owe Jackie $8,265.
Jackie: Aha! Pay up, moocher!
Kelso: Wha- Wha- No, no. This is- That's totally unfair! Hyde, you suck.
Hyde: You could have been a man and forgiven her. But no, you wanted to do the math.
Kelso: Man, math has never been my friend. Wait. No. But she had other guys in my van.
Jackie: Michael, you had other girls in your van while we were dating. So, give me my $8,000.
Kelso: Okay. I change my mind. I forgive you.

Kitty: Oh, boy. I like the looks of that. My baby with a baby.
Laurie: It's not that hard. I heard her crying, and I figured she needed a bottle and it turned out that she did.
Kitty: So, um... you think you might want a baby of your own?
Laurie: Well, yeah. I mean, once my looks start to go, why not?
Kitty: All right. [chuckles] So, how many kids are we talking here? One? Two? Six?
Laurie: Whoa, Mom. Ease up, okay? I'm not even down to one boyfriend yet.
Kitty: But- But you will be soon, right?
Laurie: Well, Zeke gets out of jail in three months.
Kitty: Okay. Uh, I'm- I'm- I'm gonna go talk to Eric.

Donna: Mom, are you happy?
Midge: Sure. What's this about?
Donna: I don't know. It's, like Eric said this stupid thing about me not working when we're married and I just want to do something more meaningful with my life than have kids, you know? No offense.
Midge: No. No. That's okay. It's not like I never wondered what my life could have been like if I hadn't married your father. I mean, I... Well, I could have been a doctor.
Donna: Exactly.
Midge: Or a dancing girl.
Donna: Right.
Midge: Oh, honey. Don't worry so much about what Eric said. You're probably not even gonna have to deal with this anyway.
Donna: How do you figure that?
Midge: Well, you and Eric are so young. The chances are you're not gonna end up together anyway.

Jackie: Hey.
Kelso: Hey. So, how'd it go, baby?
Hyde: Oh. Great.
Kelso: Cool.
Jackie: Yeah. Oh, except for when I crashed your van. But other than that, cool.

Kelso: How did this happen? Jackie, how?
Jackie: Michael, like I said-
Kelso: How?
Jackie: Coming out of the drive-
Kelso: [screams] How?
Hyde: Kelso. Come on, man. Relax. Let those of us who aren't you enjoy this moment.
Fez: Besides, it's not all that bad. This door still works. [door falls off]
Eric: Hey, Jackie. What happened to the other door?
Jackie: Other door?
Eric: Yeah, you know, the thing that always got in the way of this giant, gaping hole.

Kelso: Jackie, what are these?
Jackie: Uh... Van sticks.
Kelso: No. Jackie, these- these are not van sticks. These are drumsticks. Whose drumsticks are they?
Donna: Oh, wow, Jackie. What's up?
Jackie: Okay. Fine. You know what? I used your van to drive Chip and his band to a gig.
Kelso: Jackie, is Chip a girl?
Jackie: Uh, no.
Kelso: You had other guys in my van?
Hyde: You're dating a band?
Jackie: It wasn't a date. It was a gig.
Kelso: Whatever it was, it was a gross misuse of van. And, uh... And you owe me money. Big-time!
Jackie: I owe you money? What about all the stuff I bought you while we were together?
Kelso: That does not count. You gave me those things so I would love you.

Kitty: [on the phone] No, Laurie. You can't feed a baby bacon. Okay, okay. What color is the baby? Well, good. Now, if that changes, call me.