That '70s Show Quotes

That '70s Show

That '70s Show

A group of teenage friends enjoy the final years of the '70s in small-town Wisconsin.

Starring: Topher Grace, Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, Danny Masterson, Laura Prepon, Wilmer Valderrama, Debra Jo Rupp, Kurtwood Smith, Don Stark.
Recurring Actors: Tanya Roberts, Lisa Robin Kelly, Tommy Chong.
Original Run: 1998-2006.

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Quote from Red in Jackie Bags Hyde

Kelso: Look. I'm Paul Stanley from KISS.
Red: Kelso, don't play with the cheese. These damn kids. They don't respect anything American.
Kitty: Oh, Red, this isn't about the kids misusing dairy products. You're still upset that Bob marched in the Veteran's Day parade.
Red: Well, he was only in the National Guard. It's called Veteran's Day. Not Pansy-ass, National Guard Wussy, Pansy-ass Day.
Kitty: Oh, come on, Red. Are any dirty Commies less dead because of him?
Red: No, I guess not. You're right, Kitty. You know, I'm gonna put away this uniform, and then we'll fire up that grill.

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Quote from Red in That '70s Finale

Kelso: Oh, Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Hyde: And that, my friends, is the last "foot-in-ass" of the decade. Cheers.
Kitty: Michael, it is so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room were just asking about you.
Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
Kitty: Oh! [giggles]
Red: You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.
Hyde: Look at that. He had one more in him.

Quote from Kitty in Killer Queen

Kitty: Okay, what were you two talking about?
Red: Well, Kitty, I had a stash of gifts down there for every occasion. That way, if I forgot to buy you something, I'd still be covered.
Kitty: You buy my gifts in bulk?
Red: No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.
Kitty: Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! Yeah! I can do that too!

Quote from Red in Till the Next Goodbye

Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

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