Kitty: Okay, all right, okay. Let's get started. Now, when you first bring your little bundles of joy home, they will spend almost 20 hours a day sleeping and pooping.
Kelso: Yeah, that's the life, huh?
Kitty: Now who can tell me what they will do with the rest of their cute little time? [Brooke raises her hand] Yes, Brooke.
Brooke: They'll be eating.
Kitty: Very good. And what will they be eating?
Kelso: Hey, when you're not looking, I'm gonna sneak the little guy some popcorn.
Brooke: Michael, babies can't eat popcorn. They don't even have teeth.
Kelso: My Grandma Bessie doesn't have any teeth, and trust me, she ain't shy around a bucket of popcorn.

Red: Look at all that hail in Buffalo.
Hyde: How can you watch this?
Red: It comforts me to know that there are people out there more miserable than me, like those people in Buffalo, and you. You have to sit here? Why don't you go read a book?
Hyde: Why don't you go read a book?
Red: Because... I have cable.

[Hyde is in the smoke-filled basement watching cable TV:]
Man: [on TV] Winds variable out of the northeast, 20 miles an hour with gusts to 45.
Hyde: [laughs] Weather kicks ass.

Hyde: Forman, I'm your bud, so I'm rooting for you in this fight. But business is business, so I got 50 bucks on the little guy.

Fez: Eric, as someone that has been punched a lot, I have some advice. Do not move to a new country and try to fit in at high school.

Man: [on TV] ...temperatures in the...
Woman: [on TV] Ooh, Mr. Handyman, I'm so glad you're finally here. There are so many things I need you to nail. Lucky for you I have a big hammer.
Hyde: Red, you dirty man! [runs upstairs] Mrs. Forman! What are you watching?
Kitty: Weather.
Man: [on TV] Winds variable...

Mitch: Hey, guys.
Eric: Mitch! I thought I heard a matchbox car pull up.
Mitch: Yeah, I'm short, and you're shaped like a lollipop. I'm not in the mood, Forman. My brother Jack's wedding is tomorrow, and I don't have a date.
Jackie: Oh, did you try Aly Richards? She'll go anywhere there's cake.
Fez: That's how I got her into my car. But then I ate the cake, and she left.

Mitch: Hey, Donna, thanks so much for doing this.
Donna: Sure, but, you know, just friends. You don't get to touch any of this juicy stuff.
Mitch: No, don't worry. I'll even ask another couple to be, like, chaperones. Hey, Jackie, do you and Hyde want to go?
Jackie: I'm in, but I can't ask Steven. I'm still on probation for tricking him into a ballroom dancing class.
Fez: I'll go with you, Jackie, but I warn you, don't drink too much. I will take advantage.

Mitch: Thanks again for doing this, Donna. Grandpa saw me walk in with you, and he slipped me a 20. Here, you should have this.
Donna: See, that kind of makes me a hooker.

Fez: Well, hello. Looks like we're sharing a table here. Here's your drink, here's your bread, and here's your new lover.
Christy: You wish.
Fez: [quietly] I'm sitting next to a goddess.
Jackie: I know. Didn't my hair come out great tonight?
Fez: Not you, shorty. Her. I need your help.
Jackie: Oh, this is so easy, Fez. She's like me. She's a country club girl, and we're bitches. We only understand one thing, money.
Fez: How much should I give her?
Jackie: No. Fez, act rich.