Amy: How is this possible? I made sure that there were enough for everybody coming.
Mateo: Stealing from the poor? Ugh. There's a special place in hell.
Glenn: Yeah, or maybe, like, the worst part of heaven.
Dina: This is a Class C felony. 20 care packages valued at, what, 500 bucks a pop?
Garrett: 10,000. That's the total.

Amy: I mean, who would even... Wait. Could this be Jeff? I don't know why, but he has been trying to tear me down all day today.
Mateo: Okay, don't be mad, but I think it's because I told him that you set me up with your brother.
Amy: Mateo. Why would you even...
Mateo: I said don't be mad!
Amy: Okay, fine, just... go stall Isabel and we'll go talk to Jeff. I can't believe he would stoop this low.
Mateo: I mean, love makes you do crazy things.
Amy: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Mateo: I'm trying not to!

Amy: Sorry for the wait, ladies. Here you go. Zephra cares. You can wait till you're on the bus to open those
Woman #1: There's just tape and some loose grapes in here.
Amy: Oh! Ooh. You got the antioxidant package.
Mateo: Yes. Grapes are so important for the skin, and skin is so important for the face.
Amy: Mm-hmm.
Woman #2: Then how come I didn't get any grapes?
Amy: Well, all of the packages are different because... because the female experience is not a monolith, am I right, gals? [claps] I mean, we don't all eat grapes. Right?
Woman #3: Um, this hairbrush is clearly used.
Mateo: Did you go through my desk?

Woman #1: You haul us down here just to give us a bunch of junk? What is this, some kind of a joke?
Amy: No, I promise you, this is...
Woman #2: You think you can treat us like crap just because you have a nice job and a nice coat.
Mateo: Ladies, it's not like that. That coat is from Ross.

Dina: I found the thief. It was Cheyenne. She took the care packages.
Cheyenne: I'm telling you, somebody just put this in my locker. I haven't stolen anything in, like, a really long time.
Amy: Okay, I'm sure that there's an explanation for this. My employees are not criminals. Well, actually, some of them are, but everyone deserves a second chance. This is not the point, Amy.
Glenn: It wasn't Cheyenne! [off Amy's look] And I know that because I have a hunch. I have a very good hunch.
Garrett: Wait, it was Glenn. He's lying right now because he stole the stuff. [laughs] Not so dumb now. I figured it out. It was obvious to everyone, huh?
Dina: Yes.
Amy: Pretty obvious.
Mateo: So obvious.
Isabel: Yeah, we all got that.

Sandra: Your total is $23.87. Would you like to round up for charity?
Woman: Sure. What's 13 cents, right?
Jonah: I'd rather not comment on your finances.

Amy: So probably doesn't look great for the profile that we were robbing the homeless, huh?
Isabel: I mean, robbing the homeless is probably not exactly how I'll frame it, but, you know, it's kind of a nice story. Coworkers helping each other. One big Zephra family. Um, Cheyenne, could you come over here for a second?
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah, sure.
Isabel: I would actually love to get just, like, a quick shot of Amy handing you one of the care packages, you know, just, like, helping an employee in need.
Cheyenne: Oh, I'm not in need. If you wanna talk to a sad person, you should go find Justine.
Amy: Yeah, we probably don't need a photo.
Isabel: It'll just take one second. Great.
Cheyenne: Oh, wait, so that's gonna end up online, like, with my face on it and stuff?
Isabel: Mm-hmm.
Amy: Yeah, I think maybe you don't wanna post those 'cause of, like, optics, right? I mean, it could come off that Zephra employees get paid so little that they rely on charity to...
Isabel: Oh, I don't really think anyone's connecting those dots. Plus you guys look so awesome, right? Cute.
Amy: She took so many photos today that one probably won't even get posted.
Cheyenne: It will Amy. I'm gorgeous. [scoffs] Sucks.