Andy: Hi. Where are the twinkly white lights?
Russell: It's an outdoor ceremony, so they have to be weatherproof.
Glenn: I will take you to them.
Andy: Thank you.
Glenn: Which one of you is the lucky fella?
Andy: Oh, well, actually, we both are.
Glenn: I love that! The four of you can celebrate your anniversary together every year.

Mateo: [to Andy and Russell] Congratulations on your wedding!
Glenn: Yes.
Mateo: To each other.
Glenn: To...
Russell: Yeah.
Glenn: Oh!
Mateo: Outdoor lighting is in aisle four. If you need anything else, just ask.
Andy: Thank you. [both walk away]
Glenn: I don't know how, but you really seem to have a handle on this whole gay, you know... [off Mateo's look] Oh! That's great, Mateo! Congratulations on that. You know, I thought you might be, but I-I wasn't sure, and then I forgot about it. But now I know, and that's terrific with me. Yeah.

Amy: Okay. You know what? Um... I'll go look for him.
Dina: Could tag along with me if you want. That turd walked out with a Cloud 9 scanner gun. That makes it my jurisdiction.
Cheyenne: He is not a turd.
Dina: Oh, he's a turd. Also, my truck has a rather unique odor, but you should get used to it after a couple of hours.
Amy: Oh... Um, no, thank you. We should probably just split up, you know, cover more ground.
Dina: Up to you. Oh... Almost forgot my taser. [electricity sparks]
Garrett: Oh!
Amy: Okay. I'm coming with you!

Garrett: Uh, we'll pick for you. What do you think?
Jonah: Pfft... This one. Done. Moving on.
Garrett: Ooh.
Jonah: What? What's up?
Garrett: It's a little burlapy. She's getting married, not shipping coffee.

Dina: There is... a guy at work that things have been getting pretty intense with.
Amy: Really? Who?
Dina: Well, I don't want to talk about my personal life with coworkers, but I will say that there has been some very heavy flirtation happening. I've been changing my shirt multiple times a day just 'cause of all the pit stains.
Amy: Steamy stuff.

Mateo: You know, I have to say, you're much more open-minded than I thought.
Glenn: Thank you. People assume all Christians are homophobes. You know, that is ignorant. You can't imagine how hard it is being stereotyped.
Mateo: Sure.
Glenn: I mean, if anything, Jesus went out of his way to accept everyone.
Mateo: Agreed.
Glenn: Yeah.
Mateo: I think Jesus would've been pro gay marriage.
Glenn: Absolutely. He would've been pro-gay adoption.
Mateo: For all we know, Jesus himself was gay.
Glenn: So it's Tuesday, right? That means... that means Wednesday's coming.

Dina: You know, we can keep looking for Bo, but the guy can't bike forever, especially not with those quads. What don't you like him? Is it the mustache?
Amy: No. I got married at 19. I know what they're in for. I mean, you miss out on a lot of stuff. I mean, you get stuff too, obviously, but the money's always tight, and you're five steps ahead of where you should be but also five steps behind where you should've been.
Dina: But the mustache is bad, right?
Amy: Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair.
Dina: No.
Amy: That should be in our constitution.
Dina: Yeah.

Jonah: Oh, what a surprise. You picked a white dress. What a curveball.
Garrett: 'Cause that's exactly what a wedding should be, a series of curveballs.
Cheyenne: You guys, it's really sweet that you care, but both dresses are fugly.
Jonah: I just think that your tastes are a little more along the lines of my grandmother's.
Garrett: Okay, well, I just think that your tastes are a little more along the lines of a Wiccan space queen.
Jonah: What?
Garrett: What's your dream wedding, anyway? A bunch of people sweating in a field while some jag reads from The Velveteen Rabbit?

Glenn: Welcome. We are happy you're here.
Andy: You guys made this?
Russell: It's really nice.
Glenn: You think this is nice? You better buckle in 'cause the party is just getting started.
Mateo: It is? We didn't discuss... [techno music plays] okay.
Glenn: Oh. Pose yourself. There's nothing like it. Vogue!
Andy: Wow.
Russell: Vogue.
Mateo: Glenn, this isn't what we agreed on!
Glenn: I made a few tweaks. I turned my safe search up to the max and then Googled, "world's gayest parties."

Glenn: [to Mateo] Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don't use that one. It's icky. God doesn't make mistakes very often, but when he does, you have to throw them right in the trash.
Mateo: Oh.