‘Viral Video’
Season 3, Episode 8 - Aired January 4, 2018
The store workers discuss social media after an employee is fired for a viral video filmed in the store. Meanwhile, Glenn suspects somebody has been registering fake people for rewards cards.
Quote from Amy
Amy: [over PA] Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers! Who likes viral videos? Ma'am? Ma'am?
Quote from Cheyenne
Dina: Oh, wow. Okay, you're gonna love this. Remember Anna who had to leave to take care of her sick mom? Well, turns out her sick mom is also a boob surgeon!
Cheyenne: Wow! [scoffs] She went too big. She's gonna have back problems.
Dina: Waste of money. She should've fixed her face first.
Cheyenne: [chuckles] Yeah.
Dina: Oh, whoops. You were supposed to go on your break ten minutes ago.
Cheyenne: Oh, um, that's okay. I'll just sit here and eat my lunch with you.
Quote from Amy
Amy: [on video] Safety always comes... It's the bottom of the ninth.
Jonah: What is this?
Garrett: Just a woman going insane.
Amy: [on video] Mark down-io! Yee-haw! Howdy, partner. That was crazy. How dem cows... Inventor-ium!
Jonah: Maybe if we took her phone away...
Garrett: Don't even think about it.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: There is no way you should've gotten away with this.
Mateo: You're just jealous.
Garrett: I am. And I'm not even trying to hide it.
Quote from Amy
Amy: [recording] Ahhh! Head into the kitchen where we make our tasty treats. Y'all can just kick it while I drop this sick beat. [beat-boxes] This is stupid. These videos are so stupid.
Quote from Marcus
Amy: Look, I'm sorry. I should have watched the video before I posted it.
Jeff: How 'bout if we just stop posting videos of the store, period.
Marcus: Whoa! No way! [overlapping complaints] Amy's screw up shouldn't overshadow the fact that there's some really terrific filmmaking going on. Like Kelly's.
Kelly: Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
Quote from Kelly
Amy: Oh, you don't really have to clean out the rat traps.
Jonah: Ah-ah-ah, a bet is a bet, and you won.
Amy: Yeah, that's not exactly how I wanted to win. Here, I'll give you a hand.
Kelly: All right! Let's do this.
Jonah: All right.
Amy: Oh! You already have help.
Kelly: Oh, well, I worked fast food jobs through high school, so I know my way around a rat trap.
Amy: So many talents.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I now baptize you for the forgiveness of your sins!
Mateo: [sputters] I feel it working.
Glenn: That's the Jesus! Now, come on, I'll buy you that magnet from the gift shop.