Sandra: Aww, you guys. You got me a cake?
Amy: No, those are yesterday's donuts.
Sandra: Oh, I thought Dina was throwing me a little engagement party, as, like, a maid of honor thing.
Jonah: Dina's your maid of honor?
Dina: Who else is she gonna ask? The old lady who spits at her on the bus?
Sayid: Dina, are you throwing an engagement party? I have an outfit.
Dina: Absolutely not. Engagement party is not a maid of honor duty. I printed a list from the Internet.
Sandra: Or maybe you just want the party to be a surprise?
Dina: No. I do not want that. I'm telling you, do not expect a party.
Sandra: Right. I won't expect a party.
Dina: That's what I just said, Sandra. Ugh. Good luck, Jerry.

Garrett: Dude, what are you doing? You know Dina's not gonna give her a party.
Jonah: Yeah, I know, but I-I figured I'd just throw something together. I mean, look how happy Sandra looks, and she has so little.
Garrett: Yeah, exactly. She doesn't expect much. You don't tell a fish about land. You just leave it. You're not gonna leave it, are you?
Jonah: Nah, I'm already too excited about it.
Garrett: Kay.

Dina: What the hell is this? I said no engagement party.
Jonah: Yeah, but she seems so excited, so I just figured that maybe I would...
Dina: Make me look like a giant a-hole?
Jonah: Um, no.
Dina: Because that's what I look like when I say "no party" and then you throw one anyway.
Jonah: Well, you could still throw her one.
Dina: It's not on the list! Jonah! The list came from the Internet. The International Network!
Jonah: Yeah, but... That's not...
Dina: I am the maid of honor, and I said no party for Sandra.

Amy: Okay, Richard's having lunch, so we've got about 20 minutes to think of good things to say about Mateo. So, what makes him special?
Cheyenne: Oh, I like that Mateo gives zero Fs.
Sayid: I also give zero Fs. It's not unique to Mateo.

Amy: Okay, we actually need stories where Mateo gives a lot of Fs, like big Fs.
Marcus: Guys, we're overthinking this. One of us just needs to marry Mateo. I'll do it. Tita would be over the moon. She's our aunt.
Amy: Marriage only works if you originally came here on a visa, which Mateo did not.
Marcus: Susmaryosep! That's like a swear in our language.

Garrett: All right, well, here are some defenses that are used in detention cases: involved in community service, active organ donor.
Amy: Yes, exactly, so we just need to think if Mateo fits into anything like that. Or we could just embellish a little.
Glenn: You want us to lie to a lawman?
Amy: No! I'm just saying, let's think of things that Mateo might do. I mean, we don't know that he wouldn't do Habitat for Humanity.
Cheyenne: Oh, he for sure wouldn't.
Amy: Cheyenne, work with me!

Cheyenne: Mateo can't be deported. He was the only witness to a murder.
Richard: What murder?
Cheyenne: Well, I can't talk about it, because the murderer is... in this room.

Cheyenne: Okay, if you're gonna have the locker next to me, we're probably gonna have to talk in the mornings, so you each have eight seconds to show me how interesting you are. Glenn, go.
Glenn: Uh, okay, so, I-I was in traffic this morning...
Cheyenne: Okay, I'm so sorry, Glenn, but I really don't like stories about cars.

Glenn: I-I-I ate a pencil because I thought it was chocolate!
Cheyenne: Okay, I'm listening.

Amy: Richard, this is Jeff Sutton from Cloud 9 corporate. He is a huge deal over here.
Jeff: Ah, I don't know about huge deal, but, uh, big deal, sure. I do get to use the company car. Once. Drove the VP's wife to Indianapolis 'cause she was too drunk, but I got to listen to whatever I wanted to on the radio. "Pompeii" by Bastille, anyone?
Amy: I think Jeff's testimony is going to highlight how important Mateo is to the company.
Jeff: Yes, real quick, do you know if Mateo has been getting any of my messages?
Amy: Jeff. Focus.
Richard: Okay, Amy, look, I see what you're trying to do, but I have to present actual facts, and so far, all I've got is, he's a good employee, he's sometimes nice, and he has glasses, which isn't even a thing, but I had to write something down because it was getting awkward that I wasn't writing anything down. Anyway, look, I'm sorry, but I can't waste anymore time here.
Amy: Really, Jeff? You couldn't just say, "Mateo is an integral part of the company"? You had to babble on about "Bastille" by Pompeii?
Jeff: "Pompeii" by Bastille. You're showing your age a little.