Amy: This is not a strike.
Jonah: Yeah, it is. What would you call it?
Amy: A... demonstration? An expression of discontentedness? I don't know, we're just here to get Glenn's job back.
Jonah: Mm, "Noun. A refusal to work", organized by a body of employees as a form of protest."
Amy: Okay, it doesn't matter what we call it.
Jonah: Cool, then we'll just call it a strike.
Amy: It's not a strike.

Dina: Dennis, did I put you on go-backs or did I tell you to stand around crying about your dead dog all day? Get in the game. We're understaffed.

Jeff: Hi, I'm Jeff Sutton. I'm the District Manager.
Dina: Could I see some ID?
Jeff: Sure.
Dina: Just a second. You photograph terribly. Never model.
Jeff: Uh, who are you?
Dina: Dina Fox, Assistant Manager. Well, I used to be Assistant Manager. I had to resign my position in order to pursue a sexual relationship with a subordinate. Didn't work out. Not really your business. Anyway, I've gone ahead and taken my old job back.
Jeff: Okay, I'm gonna have to let Corporate know about that.
Dina: I get it. You want me to work for it. Show you I got what it takes. Here we go. Okay. How many you want, 50? Hundred? I could for sure do seven.
Jeff: No, thank you. No push-ups are necessary today for this. Maybe just run outside and grab whoever's in charge and ask them to come in for a meeting?
Dina: Of course. I mean, that's what an assistant manager does, right?
Jeff: Yes.
Dina: And for the record, your body would photograph great. It's just your face that's bad. Jump on register one, Jeff.
Jeff: Oh.

Jonah: I'm not making fun of you. It's just so pink.
Amy: It's all they had in my size. And will you please take off that stupid fedora?
Jonah: It completes the look.
Amy: You look like Carmen Sandiego.

Jeff: Okay, so why don't you guys just tell me what you want?
Amy: Well, Jeff, it's really quite...
Jonah: I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm gonna need a minute. [whispers to Amy] I'm not saying anything. I'm just doing this to intimidate him. Nod your head. That was way too big. Smaller nods. Okay, now giggle like I said something charming.

Amy: Okay, Jeff, what we want is for Glenn to be rehired as Store Manager.
Dina: I would sooner slit my throat and Jeff's throat before I'd let that happen.
Jeff: Dina, if... if you're gonna be here, I just need you to observe.
Dina: Ah, Assistant Manager style. I got it.

Mateo: So they wouldn't give Glenn's job back?
Jonah: No, they offered it to us, but we said, "That's not good enough."
Glenn: All right! Turning down my job! What an awesome idea!
Amy: Glenn, your job is still a priority, and we can get that and more.
Jonah: Sandra, you were saying you weren't getting paid for overtime?
Sandra: I didn't mean to complain.
Amy: No, Sandra, you were right to complain. This is what change looks like. Regular people like us demanding action. Corporate says we're in over our heads. I think we're in under our heads. [scattered chatter]
Garrett: Just go with it, guys. She's going, she's flowing. She's dressed like Barbara Bush.

Jonah: As Dr. Martin Luther King once said...
Garrett: No, no.
Jonah: No. No is right. We'll see you tomorrow.

All: Boycott Cloud 9!
Garrett: Who is that?
Jonah: I don't know. I mean, I Tweeted out #ProtestCloud9, and I guess just all these people showed up to support us. Not to brag, but I have, like, 1,500 followers, and then they inevitably retweet, and so it's essentially like community organizing, which is actually how Obama got started... [Garrett has moved away]

Mo Frank: I'm Mo Frank, reporting live from the Cloud 9 on Ozark Highlands Road where things are anything but heavenly. We're here with Amy "Dub-anowski," who is one of...
Amy: "Doob-anowski."
Mo Frank: I'm sorry?
Dina: "Doob-anowski."
Mo Frank: Amy "Doob-anowski," who is the organizer of this protest. Amy, uh, what's this about?
Amy: Thank you, Mo. Well, we are Cloud 9 employees, and we are asking people to boycott the store. Really, what it comes down to, what this is all about is...
Woman: Making sure that transgender people should not be allowed in a women's bathroom!
Amy: What? No, that's not at all...
Mo Frank: So, Amy Dubanowski, why is restricting trans rights so important to you?
Amy: No, it's... it's not.
Jonah: I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding. I tweeted out to my 1,506 followers, and I should have been more clear that we're just protesting our thing.
Man: Down with the government! Statehood for Puerto Rico!
Amy: No! No! Okay. This is about workers' rights. Workers' rights. We're asking customers to boycott the store because this company is a rat, okay? It is a dirty, filthy rat!
Mo Frank: I believe that's actually a teddy bear.
Amy: Yeah, Mo, I can see that it's a teddy bear.