Jonah: Emma, look through the crack. I'm a mummy! Ahh! [a woman enters] Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be right out. I'm helping a little girl.

Amy: Can't wait to see you bust that filthy bitch to hell.
Dina: You can drop the bad cop act.
Amy: It's not an act. I genuinely hate this lady.
Dina: Nice. Oh, here we go. She's innocent.
Amy: Yep.

Glenn: Everyone here at Cloud 9 is so, so sorry to have inconvenienced you, and we are willing to do anything to make it right.
Amy: Here are some coupons. Uh, 25% off air fresheners.
Glenn: Ooh.
Amy: Uh, buy one, get one free toothpaste. And, um, and a free slushie. But, you know what, something tells me you're not a slushie girl, so I'll just keep that.
Julie: Let me be clear. You have two options. You can either fire this dum-dum right now, or I can go home, call your corporate offices, and make them fire her.
Glenn: Okay, let's just talk this through. It was one mistake.
Julie: I'm leaving. I can't waste another minute of my life with you back-country idiots.
Glenn: Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I like her less than I like other people.

Dina: I can't believe I'm gonna lose my job. I just upgraded all of the trash cans in my apartment. Stupid, Dina, stupid!
Glenn: Relax, things have a way of working out.
Dina: Oh, I'm sure you'll be happy with me gone. You can turn this place into some sort of deranged religious cult.

Jonah: See that? In the back corner? You see the little family over there? Kill 'em. Blow 'em up.
Amy: Here you are. I'm sorry I was gone so long. What'd you do all day?
Emma: Uh, we mostly played video games. It was fun.
Amy: Wow.
Jonah: Yep.
Amy: Good job. Thanks for, uh, keeping an eye on her.
Jonah: It was easy. She's a great kid.
Amy: Yeah, she is.
Emma: Jonah taught me how to use a maxi pad.

Glenn: Thank you all for gathering to help me honor and remember... Charles Maynard Rand.
Cheyenne: Why do we have to destroy the couch?
Glenn: Well, for one thing, it's a wonderful way to memorialize a man.
Dina: Plus, I looked up the store policy. If a death occurs on any display furniture, it has to be destroyed. Who knew?
Garrett: I knew. Same thing happened at the Kirkwood store a few months ago.

Dina: Hey. Thanks for helping me out today.
Amy: Yeah, I got your back.
Dina: I know you brought your daughter into work. I got to write you up. You get it.

Glenn: We give you the love, and we take away the evil! Amen! [exhales] What a day!
Garrett: How much gas you put on that thing?
Jonah: None, and that fabric is supposed to be fire-retardant.
Glenn: Okay, uh...
Amy: Wow.
Glenn: God bless us all, and let's get out of here.