Mateo: It's the best! I'm not just Dan's assistant, I'm also his personal stylist. We spent lunch shopping for him.
Garrett: So you have two jobs, one paycheck, and no lunch.
Mateo: You're missing the point, okay? Dan is the only person here who appreciates the wisdom I have to offer.
Garrett: Oh, really, yeah? What... What wisdom is it that I'm missing out on?
Mateo: Well, you dress like a kid from a cereal commercial and you put way too much energy into the shoe thing. But I guess at least you figured out the beard trick.
Garrett: Beard trick?
Mateo: I just mean how you use it to hide your weak chin.
Garrett: No, I don't have a weak chin. I just like having a beard.
Sayid: Sorry, Garrett... looks like our chin secret's out.
Garrett: No, we don't share a chin secret.

Dina: So first you say Glenn is needed in Housewares, then Softlines, then the Garden Center. Shorter intervals each time. I'm trying to get him in shape because...
Garrett: Got it, messing with Glenn. I don't care why. Uh, while I have you here... you don't think I have a weak chin, do you?
Dina: No. I assume you have no chin, hence the beard.
Garrett: No, no, no. I have a chin. You can come feel it.

Cheyenne: I can't believe Amy would approve something like this.
Jonah: I think she did, though. I think she signed for it in her office.
Marcus: So we need to take this thing down and cover butthole on every single bottle so we can re-shelve them?
Sayid: That's a lot of buttholes, Jonah.
Jonah: I know, Sayid. It's a ton of buttholes, but Amy said that the store is responsible for the product, now, so...

Justine: Where is Amy, anyway?
Amy: She's busy. She's very, very busy.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm, yeah. Awake and busy.
Corey: Is Amy sleeping?
Jonah: No.
Cheyenne: [laughs] What are you even saying right now? [laughs] That is so random.

Sayid: You guys, I found one more butthole. It's Amy.
Cheyenne: [nervous laugh] This is going so bad.

Jonah: She's been up late all week with this inspection and Parker's been a little difficult lately, so...
Marcus: [scoffs] Amy's not the only one with kids here.
Amy: Marcus, you don't have kids.
Marcus: No, but Janet does. And one of these days, she's gonna let me watch them.
Janet: No, I'm not.

Mateo: What about non-parents? We need self care, too. I've been working so hard I've barely had time to get frozen custard. I had to Postmates it.

Garrett: Wow, this guy's got you shopping for his wife now?
Mateo: Okay, look. In my situation you gotta do what you gotta do. Okay, and sometimes that means buying shorts for a woman who gave me no information about her body type other than it was quote, "James Corden in Cats."

Garrett: Good night, guys.
Jonah: Holy...
Mateo: Whoa.
Garrett: Yeah, I shaved.
Jonah: At work?
Garrett: Had to do it to 'em. Some people were doubting my chin.
Mateo: Well... you showed them.
Jonah: Hey, man, I can cover for you till it grows back, if you want.
Garrett: Yeah, I appreciate that. Should be about a week and a half.

Dina: And while it is wildly unconventional, there's nothing in the manual against wearing a blue polo with a blue vest.
Earl: It ain't natural.