‘Seasonal Help’
Season 2, Episode 9 - Aired November 10, 2016
Amy's husband Adam is hired as a seasonal worker. Jonah and his colleagues bet on which of the temp workers will be the first to quit. Meanwhile, Glenn searches for the perfect store Santa.
Quote from Amy
Amy: He was like, "I'm surprised you wanted Adam to work here, given 'how things are in your marriage." [chuckles] [silence]
Garrett: Crazy.
Cheyenne: [awkward laugh]
Mateo: Shh.
Amy: I know. It's crazy. [silence] Right?
Cheyenne: [high-pitched laugh]
Mateo: Shh.
Cheyenne: Ow. I'm not uncomfortable. I just keep thinking of funny things. Anyways, uh, I... I'm gonna go. [laughs]
Mateo: I'll come too. Sorry.
Garrett: Oh, no. There's no one to make an announcement. Why are there all these chairs? Stupid temps.
Dina: Look, the reason they're all eager to get away is because they all agree with Glenn.
Amy: Yeah.
Dina: Yeah. Good girl talk.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] This next song is very near and dear to my heart because it reminds me of my father.
["Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin plays]
♪ My child arrived just the other day ♪ ♪ He came to the world in the usual way ♪
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: Oh, I don't know about that. All it's gonna take is for this tower to fall over and my guy's walking out the door.
Garrett: Looks pretty steady to me.
Jonah: No, no, that thing is way too narrow. Come on, baby. Come on, baby, come on, come on. Give it to Daddy. Give it to Daddy. Give Daddy what he wants! Give it to Daddy! Give Daddy that sugar.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: Told you, I get carried away when I gamble. You should have seen me last time.
Garrett: What happened last time?
Jonah: It was nothing, just a little online poker thing in college. I had to sell my brother's Camry. It's not a big deal.
Garrett: Wait, what?
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: One of the temporary workers quit.
Jonah: Oh, oh, that's a shame.
Glenn: Mm.
Jonah: But, you know, it happens all the time, right? These guys quit early.
Glenn: Yeah, I know. It's... I'm just disappointed 'cause I hired them from my church's Last Chances program. But I guess, you know...
Jonah: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Last Chances?
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. You know, they're sort of former drug addicts or kids with criminal records who can't find work anywhere else. So... [blows whistle] Come on, Santa #3, Jesus gave you knees. Pick them up.
Quote from Dina
Garrett: These poor souls are just looking for a break and you turned this into Thunderdome.
Jonah: Yeah, I feel terrible. I didn't realize they were Last Chances.
Dina: I did. I thought that was why we were betting on them.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Whoo! Is it hot in here today? Do I look flushed to you?
Dina: What do you mean by flushed? Do you mean tired? Because you always look tired.
Amy: Oh, my back hurts. That table in the photo lab is really uncomfortable.
Jonah: The photo lab?
Amy: Oops. Busted! No, me and Adam... [imitates spring squeaking]
Jonah: Oh.
Amy: Se- Sex.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: After careful consideration, I've decided to go with the applicant I pretty much knew I was gonna go with from the beginning. Uh, Santa number one. Congratulations.
Man: Ho, ho, ho. Thank you so much.
Glenn: Well...
Man: Oh, uh, what did you say this pays?
Glenn: Pays?
Man: Yeah, how much is the pay?
Glenn: Well, no... no, you get to be Santa.
Man: I get to be?
Glenn: Yeah, it... it pays in a thousand smiles. [the man removes the Santa hat] It pays in the wonder on a little kid's face. What... [others remove hat and beard] Well, I guess it's you. Congratulations, Cody. You're Santa Claus.
Cody: I'm gonna be the best Santa.
Glenn: O-okay.