Sandra: And the first ten employees who sign these cards get to be a part of "Sandra's Angels." It's a club that meets at my house to watch TV and eat sliders.
Jonah: Hey. I'm in. Let's do this. [walks off]
Sandra: Thank you! Is your mobile also your home phone? I need to know if your mobile's also your home phone! Jonah!

Amy: We're still short-staffed so if you happen to be walking through the parking lot at night and there's a loose cart, maybe just grab it and stick it in the corral. Gotta round up those doggies, yee-haw...
Garrett: That's the saddest "yee-haw" I've ever heard.
Amy: Yeah, I- I bailed on it. Carol?
Carol: I hate to even bring this up, but should Sandra be here? I thought she was fired.
Amy: Yes. She was. Until she started talking about unions.
Dina: Apparently firing someone for trying to unionize is considered retaliation. I would accompany that statement with a vigorous jerking-back-and-forth hand gesture, but that's also prohibited.
Amy: Okay. Now for the rest of you cowpokes, let's saddle up and git!
Garrett: Oof.
Mateo: The Western thing is just not in your wheelhouse.

Jonah: You thinks he actually cares about any of this stuff or is it just about getting attention?
Amy: I mean, it's definitely the attention. A week ago she was eating lunch by herself in the bathroom and now, well, she's the AOC of Store 1217.
Jonah: It's crazy how she can just go with it when this is all based on tweets that we wrote. Do you think all great leaders are just sociopaths living a lie?
Amy: Um... Yeah, probably. I mean, even Obama had those guys who made him feel "good" at basketball.

Garrett: Yo, those dressing rooms are trashed. It's like The Leftovers in there. [silence] You know, like that show where everybody disappears and all that's left is the pile of their clothes?
Mateo: You're a terrible person.
Garrett: Okay?
Cheyenne: Dina told us about the birds.
Garrett: Oh.
Glenn: Oh? Is that what it's called when you let someone's birds escape and then let her think it's her fault and you go to her place and you put your filth in her?

Garrett: Look, guys, I feel really bad about it.
Cheyenne: You know, I used to think that you were a nice guy who just said mean things to people to be funny, but now I feel like maybe you're just a mean person.
Glenn: I'm so disappointed in you, Garrett.
Garrett: Glenn, I- You gotta-
Mateo: Oh! And by the way, have you ever even seen The Leftovers? The clothes disappear too, dick.

Garrett: Everybody's acting like I killed their birds. Not that I killed Dina's birds. I mean, they could still be alive, as far as we know.
Jonah: Yeah, I mean, it's only been a few months and one of the coldest winters on record, they could be barely clinging to life somewhere.
Garrett: I mean, even Glenn thinks I'm a bad person, and he sees the good in everyone. And when that warehouse guy on meth choked him out? Glenn apologized for looking too much like a dragon.
Jonah: He was on meth? I thought it was bath salts.
Garrett: Man, how is that relevant to the conversation?
Jonah: I don't know. I don't know where it's going yet.
Garrett: Look all I'm saying is... maybe Dina's the bad person here. She kept birds in cages. Birds are supposed to be free.
Jonah: So you're actually a hero. Cool take.
Garrett: You know what? I saw you eating a chicken sandwich yesterday. You're not better than me.
Jonah: It was a turkey wrap.
Garrett: Still a bird!

Amy: It's not like we're crushing a movement. We're just trying to...
Dina: Send her a message?
Amy: That sounds like we're breaking her legs. We just want to...
Dina: Neutralize the threat. Uh, get rid of the problem. Uh, let her know she's messing with the wrong people.
Amy: Something in that ballpark.
Jonah: It just feels like a red flag that everything you say makes us sound like villains.
Amy: Look, we're just trying to stop one lonely desperate lunatic from running her mouth and costing everybody their jobs.
Dina: We're the good guys.
Jonah: I guess.
Dina: We just want Sandra to do what's best for her fellow workers. Or else. [off Amy's look] As soon as I said it, I heard it. It's- It's a problem.

Amy: So, um, Sandra, I-I need you to stop talking about all this union stuff.
Sandra: You're not allowed to restrict my speech.
Jonah: It's for- It's for your own good.
Sandra: Wow. So now you've got your muscle trying to threaten me?
Amy: Jonah? The muscle? I mean... okay.
Jonah: Seems like a weird thread to pull.

Sandra: Anyway, I want to introduce Robin Green from Retail Workers United. When I googled "labor organizer St. Louis" hers was the first name that came up. [polite applause]
Robin: So, like Sandra said I'm with RWU, and I'm here to talk to you guys about next steps and answer any questions you may have. [Jonah raises his hand] Yes?
Jonah: Yeah, I was just wondering, How much our dues were gonna be?
Robin: Oh, I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.
Jonah: Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, I just think it's a little weird that you won't tell us how much it's gonna cost. But go on.

Glenn: Marcus?
Marcus: Hey. What are you guys doing here?
Mateo: It's a union meeting.
Cheyenne: What are you doing here?
Marcus: Union meeting.
Cheyenne: Why are you in your underwear?
Marcus: 'Cause I didn't know what the dress code was.