Sandra Kaluiokalani Quotes Page 3 of 18
Quote from District Manager
Sandra: Why don't you just tell Laurie you're fat?
Dina: Because fat people are fat everywhere. This is clearly a baby bump.
Sandra: We could pad you all over, like how they do Hollywood actors. Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Tyler Perry. I am not intentionally just naming Black actors.
Dina: Sandra, if I didn't need your Hulu password, I would kill you right now.
Quote from Lottery
Dina: Well, that's annoying.
Sandra: I know, right?
Dina: Why are you agreeing with me? You don't even know what I'm talking about.
Sandra: Sorry.
Dina: Check out this text from Colleen at the Bel-Ridge store. "Biggest jackpot ever. Wonder who's gonna sell the most tickets." She's so competitive, with her smug cancer survivor smirk.
Sandra: She sounds like a real piece of work.
Dina: You don't even know her. Why are some women so quick to judge other women?
Sandra: I don't know.
Dina: I need to find a way to sell more tickets than her. Beat her at her own game.
Sandra: Uh-huh.
Dina: Don't say "uh-huh." You don't even know the rest of it.
Sandra: I don't know why I do it.
Quote from New Initiative
Dina: Basically they just want everyone to start making small talk with the customers. [all groaning]
Glenn: Oh, come on. It'll be fun! You just put on your best Cloud 9 smile... [Dina doesn't smile] ...and then talk about whatever. You know, ask them about their purchases or ask about their Thanksgiving plans. Oh, you can talk about your pets.
Sandra: Does that include exotic pets?
Dina: Oh, Sandra, for the last time. There's nothing exotic about a cat with dementia.
Glenn: The point is, human connection is what sets us apart from online retailers. That's our secret weapon.
Amy: Oh, so this is how corporate plans on taking down Amazon? By having Sandra talk about her dying cat?
Sandra: He has plenty of time.
Quote from Love Birds
Sandra: Hey, Dina? So I don't know what you thought you saw me and Jerry doing during the blizzard.
Dina: Oh, I know what I saw. It was like Winnie the Pooh with his head in the honeypot.
Sandra: What had happened was I had spilled coffee on my pants, so I took them off to dry, and Jerry came over to help, but he tripped and tipped over into my crotch, so...
Dina: Stop, please. I'm not gonna tell anyone about your little affair.
Sandra: Okay, thank you. I hate having secrets, although the sneaking around has made it even sexier.
Dina: Nope, nope, nope. That's gross.
Sandra: He comes over every night, and sometimes we make lasagna together and eat it off each other's bodies.
Dina: Elias, I'm gonna need you to clean up the vomit that's gonna be all over the ladies' bathroom in about three minutes. [to Sandra] Go on.
Quote from Cloud Green
Dina: I'm a vegan so it's basically like driving four Priuses.
Sandra: I play a game at home where I try to use less water each week. Now I only flush my toilet when it's full.
Amy: Okay, uh, that- That was a good discussion.
Quote from Scanners
Sandra: Hey Amy? I saw I only have 30 hours next week.
Amy: Yeah. Um, look, Sandra, everyone's hours have been cut.
Sandra: It's just a bad time for me. An identity thief stole my identity from the guy who stole it first, and the charges are racking up.
Amy: Oh, wow.
Sandra: And then, remember that Brazilian model who emailed me about opening a joint bank account? Well, that also went sideways.
Amy: Look, Sandra, um, I would help you if I could, but, um Dina made the schedule. Hey, Dina, um, do you think maybe you could throw Sandra some hours? It seems like maybe you cut too many. [winks]
Dina: Oh, yeah. No, sorry. The schedule I made is the schedule I made.
Amy: Come on, really? I mean, she's going through a lot right now.
Sandra: Yeah, I mean, my credit is only 60 and my Brazilian credit is two.
Quote from #Cloud9Fail
Jonah: Hey, Sandra.
Amy: What's going on? Where are you going?
Sandra: I just got fired. I don't know what happened. Luanne said I was the one who was tweeting, but I swear to God, it wasn't me.
Amy: No, we know.
Jonah: Yeah, don't worry. We are not gonna let this happen.
Amy: We're gonna fix this.
Sandra: I never even joined Twitter 'cause I was thinking of running for City Council, and you know how my humor can get a little edgy.
Quote from #Cloud9Fail
Amy: Guys, look, you know how corporate just kept cutting back our hours and cutting back our hours?
All: Yeah.
Glenn: I know they have.
Amy: Well-
Sandra: Well, sometimes you just got to say, "Enough with the [bleep]."
All: Yeah!
Sandra: It's like, you can only get pushed around so much before you say, "No! This isn't fair." This isn't right."
Jonah: What is happening?
Amy: I have no idea.
Glenn: What are you gonna do?
Sandra: We're gonna- We're gonna stand up.
Marcus: That's right.
Sandra: And we're gonna stay strong.
Marcus: There she is.
Glenn: Yep, that's it.
Sandra: And we need to unionize! [all cheer] This is just the beginning! Yeah! [all cheer]
All: [chant] Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra! Sandra!
Quote from Sandra's Fight
Sandra: Amy, could I say a few words?
Amy: Um, okay.
Sandra: [stands up] Screw management!
Amy: Okay.
Sandra: Once we clock out Amy can't make us do a damn thing. If you see a loose cart in the parking lot, you can kick it over or shove it into traffic.
Jonah: Seems like just as much work?
Sandra: Also, managers can't give us polygraph tests.
Amy: I wasn't planning on giving anyone a polygraph test.
Sandra: Well, good. 'Cause we ain't taking one, Amy.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: Stay strong, people.
Marcus: Whoo! [claps]
Quote from Sandra's Fight
Sandra: We have a right to healthy air quality and adequate airflow. Do you feel any airflow? 'Cause I don't feel any airflow.