Amy Quote #408
Glenn: Okay, I have hidden several rule violations somewhere in this section. And, go.
Amy: That trash can is overflowing. That fluorescent light bulb is out. That mannequin's missing an arm. There is a bottle of grape soda that doesn't belong in women's wear and it's leaking. These sweaters aren't really folded. They're just sort of wadded up into balls. And Brett should be wearing a shirt.
Glenn: That was really good. You even found some I didn't notice. Okay, so, this next part is called: "Backwards and on Roller-Skates." 'Cause a great manager should be able to do this job backwards and on roller-skates.
Amy: Glenn, this really isn't necessary. I mean, I know all of this stuff, and what I don't know, I'm sure I'll learn in actual management training.
Glenn: So, you don't want my fake management training, is what you're saying.
Amy: I mean, I wanna say exactly, but I'm trying not to hurt your feelings.
Glenn: Sorry I wasted your time.
Amy: Brett, for future reference, if a manager asks you to take off your clothes, you can say no.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: One time, I gave $100 bill in change when it was only supposed to be 35 cents.
Glenn: And then another time, I forgot to put anybody on the schedule, and I had to work the whole day alone in the store.
Glenn: And then, uh, and then one time I ate everybody's lunch by accident. And, um... Oh, I accidentally ordered some adult toys 'cause I thought they were puzzles.
Quote from Dina
Justine: Maybe you could be a bike messenger.
Dina: Uh, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Premium Rush? I think I'll pass on being chased around by a corrupt cop because I'm unknowingly delivering $50,000 to a Chinese human trafficker, thanks.
Garrett: What are you trying to do, get her killed?
Dina: What about scuba cop? Is that a job?
Jonah: I don't think I see that listed here.
Dina: It's a pass anyway.
Dina: Too worried about the bends.
Quote from Lady Boss
Jonah: It wasn't why I was doing it, but I really tapped into something here. These guys are really freaked out about the acquisition.
Amy: Yeah, everybody's freaked out. It's a freaky time. Just tell 'em to take it down and get back to work.
Jonah: Ah, but that'd kinda just be like a Band-Aid, wouldn't it?
Amy: Yeah, Band-Aids heal things. Why does everybody hate Band-Aids?
Quote from Maternity Leave
Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Amy: Kill yourself!
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!