Glenn Quote #455

Quote from Glenn in New Initiative

Glenn: Today is the start of a brand-new corporate initiative: "Going the Extra Smay-zle!"
Garrett: A couple questions.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Garrett: What is a smayzle, how do you go the extra one, and what if you probably weren't going the standard amount of smayzles to begin with?
Glenn: I... Well, Dina?
Mateo: Uh, I think it's supposed to be "Going the Extra Smile," 'cause that rhymes with "mile" and we have "aisles."
Glenn: One interpretation.


 ‘New Initiative’ Quotes

Quote from Sandra

Dina: Basically they just want everyone to start making small talk with the customers. [all groaning]
Glenn: Oh, come on. It'll be fun! You just put on your best Cloud 9 smile... [Dina doesn't smile] ...and then talk about whatever. You know, ask them about their purchases or ask about their Thanksgiving plans. Oh, you can talk about your pets.
Sandra: Does that include exotic pets?
Dina: Oh, Sandra, for the last time. There's nothing exotic about a cat with dementia.
Glenn: The point is, human connection is what sets us apart from online retailers. That's our secret weapon.
Amy: Oh, so this is how corporate plans on taking down Amazon? By having Sandra talk about her dying cat?
Sandra: He has plenty of time.

Quote from Dina

Dina: You know, my cousin deep-fried a turkey last year, but he didn't thaw it completely. Huge explosion. Bunch of his face just melted clean off. He's had to have a ton of surgeries. We keep telling him he looks good as new, but really, he kind of looks like one of those baseball mitts from the 1920s. Anyway, be safe. Gobble-gobble. [chuckles]
Garrett: Is that your idea of going the extra smile? Talking about your cousin with no lips?
Dina: Uh, he has lips. They used them to reshape his eyebrows.

 Glenn Sturgis Quotes

Quote from All Sales Final

Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Jonah: Some.
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?

Quote from Conspiracy

Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.