Jonah Quote #340
Quote from Jonah in Maternity Leave
Lonnie: Excuse me, ah, are you guys still doing interviews for seasonal help?
Jonah: Unfortunately, the last spot has been filled.
Lonnie: Ah! Sucks. Got caught up in a flame war with some guy on Fortnite. Totally lost track of time.
Garrett: I know what that's like.
Lonnie: Well, here's my resume. Um, ignore the useless philosophy degree. Um, I guess you can keep it on file or throw it away as soon as I walk out of here. I'll never know.
Jonah: Uh, hey, there there's nothing on here I should know about, like a swastika tattoo or something, right?
Lonnie: No.
Jonah: Good. That's perfect.
Garrett: Yeah, you're cool, dude.
Lonnie: Thanks, guys. I, um feel like your bar is a little bit low, but uh, feels really nice to hear. If you need anyone, just give me a call.
Superstore Quotes
‘Maternity Leave’ Quotes
Quote from Amy
Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Glenn: What?
Amy: Kill yourself!
Glenn: Amy-
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: As you know, we love the name Parker.
Cheyenne: Ugh, love it so much. And we found out a few fun, interesting facts that we thought you might want to know.
Amy: Mmm-hmm.
Cheyenne: Did you know that the name Parker literally translates to "park keeper," so in other words, a homeless person.
Mateo: Sleep on the streets.
Amy: I don't know that anybody's making that connection.
Mateo: Not to your face they won't.
Cheyenne: The name Parker also brings to mind the snobby, rich, evil character in an '80s movie.
Mateo: Hey, nerds. I'm Parker. And I'm gonna throw you guys in a Dumpster.
Cheyenne: Yeah. But Mateo, what about Parker Posey?
Quote from Sayid
Sayid: I hate to complain, but that machine is so noisy. I'll feel like I'm praying on the wings of an airplane.
Amy: Well, there's no volume button, so...
Sayid: It's just that when I make my-
Amy: This is the sound it makes, Sayid!
Sayid: Okay. Okay.