Glenn Quote #437
Woman: [on the phone] I'm sorry, the company doesn't consider pregnancy a disability.
Amy: No, I'm not asking for disability. I just need to reduce my hours because my doctor says I have to stay off my feet.
Glenn: Yeah, her feet are really swollen. You know when you open a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls and the dough just kind of bursts through? Well, it's like that only with feet and toes.
Quote from Dina
Dina: What the hell was that?
Garrett: This same song keeps playing over and over again, and it's starting to drive me crazy.
Dina: Oh, I like hearing the same song. You always know what you're getting, no surprises. My workout mix is just 12 tracks of Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time." Well, that's on leg days. On arm days it's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant."
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, I do not have an announcement, but as long as I am talking I am not listening, so just gotta keep talking. Uh, save 30% off roach gel. Stop roaches in their tracks. Except you can never really stop them, can you? They'll just keep coming and coming, invading your mind in an endless loop. [imitating child] Are we there yet, Daddy? [As Dad] Sorry, son, the hell ride, it lasts forever. It's buy one, get one free on peas.
Quote from All Sales Final
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.