Jeff Quote #14
Quote from Jeff in Mateo's Last Day
Jeff: [on the phone] So the tub faucet is now working, but the drain is clogged with... I'm gonna say fur, not hair. Oh, hold on just one second, please. Guys, corporate is coming down on employee fraternization due to a recent incident.
Dina: The incident of you having gay sex with Mateo?
Jeff: I'm not at liberty to say. And we actually just call it sex. Uh, but the point is, since you two have been recently intimate...
Garrett: Wait, does this mean we gotta transfer too?
Dina: Oh, no, no way. I am just getting used to the wet horse smell coming out of Elias's locker.
Jeff: Uh, no. Mateo only needs to transfer because I'm at a district level. Sorry, that sounded like I was bragging.
Garrett: No it didn't.
Jeff: Okay, the point is, I just need you guys to fill out these disclosure forms for me. Thank you. [on the phone] Hi, sorry about that. So the phone in my hotel room, yes. Sometimes when I'm on it, I hear somebody breathing.
Superstore Quotes
‘Mateo's Last Day’ Quotes
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: My friends and I would say that you guys are just chilling.
Jonah: Wait, full-on sex is now considered just chilling?
Cheyenne: Uh-huh, and mouth stuff is hanging out, and hand stuff is pretty much, "I like you but just as a friend".
Jonah: Hm.
Garrett: Wow, times have changed.
Dina: Yeah.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: [on video] What am I gonna miss the most? Uh, the people? They're salt of the Earth. Simple, basic. Just sort of harmless. Am I scared? Of course I'm scared.
Amy: Wait, so, um, who's asking you these questions?
Mateo: Uh...
Glenn: Whoa.
Garrett: That is not your chest.
Mateo: Yes it is.
Garrett: Then take off your shirt.
Mateo: I had a big breakfast.
Mateo: [on video] My advice? I guess it would be leaving every place you work at a little bit better than when you found it. Did I do that here? Who can say? Yes. I think I did.
Dina: Well, that was a massive waste of time.
Glenn: Okay, moving on. We have not had a tornado drill in eight years, so we really should...
Mateo: [on video] I started this journey as a small child in the Philippines... [all groan]
Quote from Mateo
Cheyenne: This is where you'll be working? It looks so different.
Mateo: It's a Cloud 9 Signature. They have a beauty concierge, their produce is all organic, and their cafe has never given anyone diarrhea.
Amy: That is impressive.