Mateo Quote #73
Quote from Mateo in Rebranding
Dina: Hey, we need to talk.
Mateo: I know, right? [clears throat] What's going on, girl?
Dina: No, not a gay talk. We need to talk about who the snitch is. Now, it had to be somebody in that room, but who? Okay, it couldn't have been Ramona, her husband doesn't let her talk to other men. Wasn't Tim, his jaw's still wired shut, after talking to Ramona. I know it wasn't me. So that just leaves Justine, Elias, Sandra, you, uh...
Mateo: [gasps]
Jonah: What?
Mateo: You know how I hate to gossip, but I was out back last week, and I saw Jeff making out with... Sandra.
Dina: Sandra?
Mateo: Yeah, man on woman. It was disgusting.
Superstore Quotes
‘Rebranding’ Quotes
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Did anyone watch Vampire Diaries last night? Damien's really gotten out of control.
Dina: You stupid slut!
Mateo: Dina...
Dina: I can't hold it in any longer.
Garrett: What's happening?
Dina: Sandra is having an affair with Jeff.
Sandra: No.
Dina: Don't you deny it! You were seen kissing on the loading dock.
Garrett: Ooh, Sandra, Sandra, Sandra! That's crazy, boo! I didn't know you had it in you. Dish, girl.
Mateo: I don't think we need to be talking about that.
Garrett: Oh, I got questions, like, when did it start?
Sandra: [long silence] About two weeks ago. He pulled me into his Kia, and he said to me, "Sandra take out your taters." [all gasp] And I did. And I put them in his face.
Garrett: Ooh, yeah! [exclaiming]
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: Anyway, I just started driving, and... and then I saw that they were hiring here.
Rex: That's... that's great.
Jonah: Yeah.
Rex: Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that. I would've figured you were one of those guys who are on a voyage of self-discovery.
Jonah: Oh.
Rex: You know, backpacking through Asia, rolling cigars in Cuba.
Amy: Or, as Jonah would say, "Coo-ba."
Rex: He does that? [laughter]
Amy: Yeah.
Jonah: Should I be embarrassed that I pronounce it the way native Coo-banos do, or...?
Amy: You should.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Why didn't they make it a superhero? You know, 'cause SuperCloud? And it could have, like, a cape or something, and, like, little cloud muscles.
Jeff: Yeah, wow, that's... Clean, it's simple, it's visual, that... is probably what it should've been. Damn. So all right, let's just move on. Here are some words we'd like you guys to pepper in to the conversation today whenever SuperCloud comes up, obviously, so "cool," "millennial," "on fleek..." Have to go back to the superhero mascot, I'm so sorry, that's just a home run.
Cheyenne: Yeah, and he could be saving people with savings.
Jeff: [bleep], that's good.