Glenn Quote #136
Quote from Glenn in Spokesman Scandal
Glenn: Oh, well, as it turns out, Kyle was not a cannibal. He was only killing and eating people because he was high on marijuana. [off their looks] What?
Amy: It's just that I don't think that marijuana turns people into murderers.
Jonah: Otherwise we'd literally be surrounded by killers.
Glenn: You don't think people in this store do marijuana, do you?
Jonah: I mean...
Amy: Uh, probably.
Glenn: Well, how... how many of them?
Amy: Like... half.
Glenn: Half? Wait, half do, or half don't?
Amy: [stammering] It's both.
Glenn: Both?!
Superstore Quotes
‘Spokesman Scandal’ Quotes
Quote from Garrett
Dina: The test will detect any drugs in your system. We're talking marijuana, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamines.
Garrett: What about power pellets?
Dina: Ah... I don't see that. What are they?
Garrett: Oh, you just take some big boppers, you cut in some fetty wap, you put a little disco shake on there, and then you roll that up in some Doc McStuffins. Smoke it. Get real high.
Quote from Dina
Dina: I have a work-related question. What security measures are we taking to avoid revenge crimes?
Glenn: Revenge crimes?
Dina: Families of the victims trying to eat us as payback. I mean, that's what I would do.
Quote from Jeff
Jeff: As most of you may have heard, our company spokesman has been accused of some improprieties.
Garrett: By improprieties, you mean killing and eating people, right? Or is there a tax evasion thing going on as well?
Jeff: The killing and eating. I can't speak to his tax situation.