Dina: All right, in order for this to work, it is critical that we run at the crow at exactly the same speed, 8 miles per hour, got it?
Mateo: Yes, ma'am.
Dina: All right.
Mateo: Actually, I don't know how fast that is.
Dina: Sorry, sometimes I forget you're Asian. 13 kilometers per hour.
Mateo: I still don't...
Dina: It's 240 steps a minute.
Mateo: That doesn't mean anything to me.
Dina: Well, I don't know how to make it any clearer.
Mateo: You're just saying just run pretty fast, right?
Dina: "Pretty fast" is a relative term. What's your resting heart rate?
Mateo: I have no idea.
Dina: God, we're gonna have to figure it out now. Okay, take your pulse for ten seconds. You're gonna multiply that number by six.

Jonah: Okay, look, I'm not... I'm not, like, against weapons as a whole. I fenced in college, but there's...
Garrett: [laughs] Okay.
Jonah: What? What are you doing?
Garrett: Oh, I'm keeping a list of all the crazy white-person stuff you say. Oh, fencing, that's definitely going on there.
Jonah: What else is on there?
Garrett: Oh, it's long. I got wearing boat shoes, BBC America, makes his own trail mix...
Jonah: You love my trail mix.

Dina: Yeah, that should do it. All right, just dump that in the cart there. Okay, that should draw her out.
Mateo: How do you know it's a woman?
Dina: I'm glad you asked, Mateo. Birds don't have genitalia as we're familiar with. They have internal penises called cloacas.
Mateo: Okay.
Dina: And when they become very engorged... [a murder of crows fly into the store] Look, I'm gonna give it to you straight. This is bad.