Glenn Quote #700
Glenn: [on the phone] Sorta straight. Yeah.
Cheyenne: [enters] Glenn.
Glenn: S-sorry, one second. I'm on the phone with a fancy hair salon. Yes, but it just needs to be, you know, groundbreaking. Well, you're the expert, Trinity, you tell me. Okay, no, that's good. All right, I'll see you soon. Love you! Sorry, that was strange. I'm a little nervous. Love you. Bye.
Glenn: What's up?
Cheyenne: Lowell was just saying that he wants the store to be more "hands-on," and I just worry that his ideas might be slightly... fully wack.
Glenn: Okay, look, Lowell's methods may seem strange, but that's because we're not on his level intellectually. I mean, this morning, I watched a squirrel unwrap a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for an hour.
Cheyenne: Glenn, you have to get TikTok. That's, like, literally all it is.
Glenn: I know, I know. Look, just do whatever Lowell wants, 'kay? And I'm sorry, I'm in a rush. Trinity's working out of her aunt's kitchen, and we have to wrap it up before the cacciatore prep starts.
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: I can help you figure out if she's with someone. I've been monitoring her social media for months. I print out the good ones, and I put them up on a board.
Jonah: Look, it's fine. Thank you. I... It was just bugging me, you know? Like when you get a tune stuck in your head, and you can't remember what the song is. It's no big deal. Um, have you been monitoring all of our social media?
Sandra: Yep, I even know about everyone's fake accounts.
Jonah: Huh. People have fake accounts? That's weird.
Sandra: Is it, Scott McPhee? Who only follows organic farms and influencer underwear ladies.
Quote from Sandra
Jonah: Okay, I think I have a lead, but it's a long shot. Amy's cousin's ex is following one of "Scott McPhee's" favorite... influencers.
Sandra: Oh, Emma just posted.
Jonah: What? What's it say? What's it say? What's it say? "Having a great time in the snow with my mom and little bro. #FamilyTrip, #HighlnTheMountains."
Sandra: Oh, my God. She's just with Emma and Parker. She's still single. [sighs] Wow. That was scary. [laughs] Look at my hand.
Jonah: Yeah, although I am concerned about #HighlnTheMountains. Do you think Emma's smoking pot again?
Sandra: Who cares? What matters is that Amy's single. Now, here's the plan. You're gonna call Amy and say you want one last special night together. But here's what she doesn't know: I'm gonna poke a hole in the condom.
Jonah: What? No, this isn't... No, no. I'm over Amy, okay? And I'm with Hannah now.
Sandra: Then what the [bleep] have we been doing all day?
Quote from All Sales Final
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.