Dina Quote #484
Dina: Ugh, I can't wait to have a manager that's not a paunchy idiot with elf hair.
Amy: Well, it's not gonna be me. Laurie won't even let me interview for the job. She's already decided who she's hiring.
Dina: Whoa. It sounds like you need to go take a big, fat 17-B on her desk.
Amy: Eww. What are you talking about?
Dina: Rule 17-B.
Dina: Come on, you know 17-B. 17-B. B as in boy. Rule 17-B.
Amy: You can't just keep saying it-
Dina: Any employee who completes the Cloud 9 Academy should be granted an interview if... If a management position becomes available at their...
Amy: Dina, just say it.
Dina: At their store. Okay? She literally has to let you interview.
Amy: She's already decided who she's hiring, so what's the point?
Dina: The point is you should get to make your case. Look, if you feel awkward asking her, I'm happy to come back you up.
Quote from Mateo
Jonah: Glenn, you're not going to go to prison, okay? It's fine. We- We just need to do about what, 12 grand worth of damage in- In the next hour.
Mateo: Oh. We have fertilizer in the garden center. We can make a bomb.
Jonah: I feel like going from embezzlement to domestic terrorism is the wrong direction.
Mateo: We could hire termites to eat the store.
Jonah: How do you hire termites?
Mateo: I don't know, with wood?
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: You got to do what's for the greater good. If you could cure cancer, but you had to blow up a bus full of children, wouldn't you do it?
Amy: I mean, I guess?
Jonah: Just take the job. You're not just doing it for you. You're doing it for all of us.
Amy: I mean, I guess I would be better than Blaine.
Marcus: Hey, Amy, guess what? One of the kids on that bus had the cure. [crunch]
Justine: Twist ending.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: And guys, I say this a lot, but we really need to wet down those raccoon droppings before we sweep.
Dry sweeping is the reason why those roundworm eggs go airborne. God, I just realized this is the last time I'm going to tell you guys to spray your droppings.