Jonah Quote #346
Quote from Jonah in New Initiative
Amy: Oh, Dr. Simms. Where are Richard and Marilyn?
Jonah: Uh, I told them I needed a new 13-pin phone charger, so that should confuse them for a little bit. Uh, look, I know this may all seem a little weird...
Amy: Insane. Cuckoo Bananas.
Jonah: Okay, uh, long story short: I dropped out of business school, my parents kept asking me what my plan was, and I didn't want to tell them I was working at Cloud 9. That's not a judgment on working here. It's just my parents have really high expectations.
Amy: That's so weird. It was my parent's dream that I would stock shelves for a living one day.
Jonah: Anyway, I told them that I was thinking about going to medical school, which I was... kind of, and then one thing led to another and now I'm doing my rotation in hematology.
Amy: And what is hematology?
Jonah: I think it's, uh... It's the study of blood or not... Mmm, not blood itself, but, like, the vessels or I don't know. I have to Google it again.
Superstore Quotes
‘New Initiative’ Quotes
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Today is the start of a brand-new corporate initiative: "Going the Extra Smay-zle!"
Garrett: A couple questions.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Garrett: What is a smayzle, how do you go the extra one, and what if you probably weren't going the standard amount of smayzles to begin with?
Glenn: I... Well, Dina?
Mateo: Uh, I think it's supposed to be "Going the Extra Smile," 'cause that rhymes with "mile" and we have "aisles."
Glenn: One interpretation.
Quote from Sandra
Dina: Basically they just want everyone to start making small talk with the customers. [all groaning]
Glenn: Oh, come on. It'll be fun! You just put on your best Cloud 9 smile... [Dina doesn't smile] ...and then talk about whatever. You know, ask them about their purchases or ask about their Thanksgiving plans. Oh, you can talk about your pets.
Sandra: Does that include exotic pets?
Dina: Oh, Sandra, for the last time. There's nothing exotic about a cat with dementia.
Glenn: The point is, human connection is what sets us apart from online retailers. That's our secret weapon.
Amy: Oh, so this is how corporate plans on taking down Amazon? By having Sandra talk about her dying cat?
Sandra: He has plenty of time.
Quote from Dina
Dina: You know, my cousin deep-fried a turkey last year, but he didn't thaw it completely. Huge explosion. Bunch of his face just melted clean off. He's had to have a ton of surgeries. We keep telling him he looks good as new, but really, he kind of looks like one of those baseball mitts from the 1920s. Anyway, be safe. Gobble-gobble. [chuckles]
Garrett: Is that your idea of going the extra smile? Talking about your cousin with no lips?
Dina: Uh, he has lips. They used them to reshape his eyebrows.