Glenn Quote #64
Garrett: Ooh, corporate messed up. Those are the same signs we just took down.
Glenn: I don't think so.
Glenn: Nope, they say the old signs were this pale, outdated color called "Glossy Dolphin." The new ones are a bold, exciting color called "Glossy Dolphin B." [Garrett scoffs]
Quote from Glenn
Garrett: Ooh, cool move, cowboy.
Glenn: What, this? I was born with a drill in my hand. My family used to own a hardware store. Sturgis and Sons?
Glenn: Yeah, for 59 years, the name "Sturgis" was synonymous with tools. Well, until Cloud 9 moved in up the street, and then a month later, we lost everything. Hey, has anyone seen the laser level?
Jonah: Doesn't it make you a little angry to be working for them?
Glenn: Oh, I don't waste my time with anger. [hammers]
Glenn: [chuckles] Look at that. I hit my finger.
Jonah: That looked pretty serious.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I think it was on one of these memos from corporate. Here. [sighs] "Union buzzwords."
Dina: "How to spot a union."
Glenn: "Anti-union activity."
Dina: "What to do if you hear the word 'union.'"
Glenn: "Reporting union activity." "List of toxic food recalls"? I don't remember doing any food recalls. [Dina gasps] What?
Dina: "Addendum of policy changes to employee handbook... Relationships between supervisors and subordinates no longer forbidden, now just strongly discouraged."
Glenn: Yeah, words. Oh, here it is. "Please detach the accompanying card and keep in a safe place." And, look, I wrote, "Like in your car," and then I underlined "car." Oh, that means it's just outsi... Oh.
Quote from All Sales Final
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.