Dina Quote #31
Quote from Dina in Secret Shopper
Dina: First time in our store?
Woman: [gasps] Oh, no. I've been here before.
Dina: Really? Because I have a pretty good memory for faces, right there... [clicks tongue] In my brain.
Woman: Well, you must have forgotten mine.
Dina: [chuckles] Yeah, I don't think so. It's very distinctive looking. But maybe it was my mistake. Guess you're just a regular customer doing some regular pet food shopping. Say, what type of pet do you have?
Woman: It's a dog.
Dina: What kind?
Woman: Cockapoo-
Dina: How old?
Woman: Four-
Dina: Gender?
Woman: Girl.
Dina: Well... Looks like you've got an answer for everything. So I'll just leave you to your shopping. [chuckles] Oh! I almost forgot to ask. What's your cat's name?
Woman: It's a dog.
Dina: Sure it is.
Superstore Quotes
‘Secret Shopper’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Condolence cards, huh? Bummer. Who died?
Man: Uh, a friend of mine.
Dina: Hmm. You don't look very upset. Probably not that good a friend. Can I see a death certificate?
Man: I-I don't think I need a death certificate just to buy a card.
Dina: Well, well, well. Look who knows a lot about Cloud 9 store policies. What was your friend's name?
Man: I don't understand...
Dina: How did he die? What did he love? What kind of music was he into? Billy Joel? Everybody's into Billy Joel. Was he a vegetarian or normal? The kind of guy you trust with a lot of money or...
Man: Enough, all right? I see what you're doing, and you're right. By the end, I didn't really know him anymore. May- Maybe I never really knew him. The point is, I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most. [walks off sobbing]
Dina: Hmm. [to a man buying a Bar Mitzvah card] Funny. You don't look Jewish.
Quote from Dina
Jonah: I wonder if they'll send one here.
Dina: A secret shopper? [scoffs] I'd know. I can always sniff out a fake. The only way a secret shopper's getting past me is if he doesn't even know he's a secret shopper. Like Harrison Ford in Blade Runner.
Garrett: I'm gonna say this one more time. Deckard was not a replicant.
Dina: Then explain the friggin' unicorn!
Garrett: Director's Cut doesn't count!
Dina: I can't listen to the Blade Runner debate one more time.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Mateo. What you doing in here?
Mateo: I'm investigating. What if there is no secret shopper? You ever think that corporate is spying on us with a secret employee?
Glenn: Well, no, but now that's all I can think about.
Mateo: You notice how Jonah never talks about what he was doing before this job?
Glenn: Well, sure, but I just figured he was a criminal. You'd be surprised how many of our employees have been.