Jonah Quote #33
Jonah: Yeah, I don't... okay. I'm not seeing any of that. I'm seeing... I mean, what? If anything, he looks like Tom Cruise, I guess? [both laugh]
Garrett: You think you look like Tom Cruise?
Jonah: The mannequin...
Amy: Somebody has a healthy ego!
Garrett: I guess I look like Denzel Washington.
Amy: Yeah, and I look like Salma Hayek. [Garrett laughs] Come on, Denzel. Let's get back to work.
Garrett: Okay, Salma.
Jonah: I just meant that's what the mannequin looks...
Garrett: [scoffs] Tom Cruise...
Quote from Jonah
[The "Jonah mannequin" is sitting in the banana display holding an incorrectly peeled banana in each hand]
Garrett: You baited the bear, huh?
Jonah: It's fine. I think it's funny. It's fine. I'm fine. This is fine.
Man: Why is he holding the bananas wrong?
Jonah: It's humans that hold them wrong!
Quote from Dina
Glenn: [holds doll] I love you, Mommy.
Dina: Yah! [knocks doll to the ground]
Glenn: Ha! So that's what you would do if your baby cried, huh?
Dina: Oh, I guess you've heard I'll be raising Cheyenne's child.
Glenn: Oh, the "H" you will. You don't know the first thing about babies. Do you even know how to swaddle?
Dina: I used to work part-time at Chipotle. Same principle as a burrito. Different wrapper and different fillings.
Quote from Health Fund
Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.
Quote from Election Day
Jonah: Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, but now I'm thinking Times New Roman.
Amy: [sighs] Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, and so would Helvetica and Garamond, and really any font would be just fine.
Jonah: Not Wingdings.
Amy: No one was suggesting Wingdings.