Kelly Quote #17
Quote from Kelly in Viral Video
Kelly: [on video] Hey, guys. It's your girl, Kelly. You know how sometimes you get a shopping cart with a bad wheel? Well, this one has a really bad wheel. AKA, no wheel! [Justine laughs] Check it out! Wheel fail!
Amy: Wait, really? What am I missing here? This is lame.
Justine: No, I know! So lame.
Kelly: [on video] It's your girl, Kelly. I'm just having a little breakfast, the most important meal of the day, although some people refuse to eat it.
Jonah: [on video] All your cereals have marshmallows. It's like you're a nine-year-old.
Amy: Oh.
Kelly: [on video] Well, they're fun, Jonah.
More Superstore Quotes
‘Viral Video’ Quotes
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: I sign up a lot of... rewards customers. I mean, I... can't remember every single one.
Glenn: It's just that I noticed they seem to have really unusual names. Ned Duracell. Jim Toblerone. And just this morning, you signed up a Martin Nestle.
Mateo: Oh, Martin! Uh, yeah. I... I remember him. Uh, good guy. Nice family.
Glenn: Mateo, can you think of any reason why Martin's email bounced back?
Mateo: He gave me a fake email?
Glenn: That's one reason. Um... But another one is... a-and I'm not accusing you of this, but maybe... You made him up?
Mateo: What? Glenn! Wow!
Quote from Dina
Dina: Cheyenne? I need your help accessing people's social media before we have another scandal. I feel like that lady from Scandal. Is her name Scandal?
Cheyenne: Um, can't you just do it yourself?
Dina: Don't do social media. Never have. Never will. Don't want anyone tracking me. I only use the Internet for two things: buying birdseed, watching porn. Besides, it'll be fun. Couple of gals clickin' and a-clackin' around the net.
Cheyenne: Are you asking me, or telling me I have to?
Dina: I'm telling you you have to, but in a way that makes it sound like I'm asking you.
Kelly Quotes
Quote from Golden Globes Party
Kelly: Ugh, I'm overdressed. I thought going to a Golden Globes party was like, you dress for the Golden Globes.
Jonah: I think you look nice.
Kelly: I'm just nervous, you know? I mean, I feel like I'm still not part of the group.
Jonah: No, no, you're part of the group. It's like if this was the Scooby Doo gang, you would be Scrappy Doo... a late addition, but everybody loved him.
Kelly: Everyone hated Scrappy Doo. He only got to hang out with them because he was related to Scooby.
Quote from Town Hall
Carol: Jonah's a jerk, by the way. You deserve so much better.
Kelly: Thanks. I appreciate that.
Carol: So what are we going to do to him? Revenge porn on the Internet? Give his credit card info to a bum?
Kelly: Or... maybe someone tells the cops he's cooking meth. Then, uh-oh, there's an ounce of it found in his sock drawer. How'd that get there?
Carol: Wow, that's aggressive.
Kelly: Or he's got two brothers. [pushes cart towards Carol] Be a shame if something happened to them. Then he'd be all alone.
Carol: Well... I'm just going to go...
Kelly: Well let me know, Carol. I've got nothing to lose anymore. [Carol backs away]