Amy Quote #175

Quote from Amy in Cheyenne's Wedding

Amy: [over PA] Uh, hi. I just wanted to say congratulations to Cheyenne and Bo. Um... uh, I... I love you, Cheyenne. You remind me of me. I-I also met my husband in high school, and we did the whole "baby first" thing, and then got married because we had to. I mean, not... Wah! I didn't mean we had to. I meant... I meant we got pregnant so we got married... but, um, marriage is amazing! I mean, is it hard work? Yes. Duh. Like, that's the cliché, right? "Ah, it's so hard," because it is. You know, one second everything's great, and then you step on some invisible land mine, and you're fighting. Boom! Ka-boom! Uh... 'Cause it's hard. It's just... It's hard. But... it is the hard that makes it good. That... that wasn't me. That was from A League of Their Own. Why did Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell stop being friends? I feel like something happened there, right? Maybe we should talk about that.
Garrett: [over PA] The desert table is now open for anybody who would like to stop talking.
Amy: But, okay, what I'm trying to say is that no matter how tough it gets, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be... so...
fine. You know?
Dina: Just give me the... Give it... But I... Give it to me. [takes microphone] You heard it here first, folks. Marriage is fine. Yikes. Oh! Oh, you like the joke about Amy's marriage? 'Cause I got a ton of those. Amy's marriage is so bad...
All: How bad is it?

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 ‘Cheyenne's Wedding’ Quotes

Quote from Cheyenne

Jonah: What am I supposed to wear to your wedding? The invitation just says, "Not basic."
Cheyenne: You know, not basic. I don't know how to explain it more than that.
Amy: Yeah, like, Adam's wearing a gray suit.
Cheyenne: Mm, I mean, that's, like, semi-basic, but you guys are old. No one's looking at you anyways.

Quote from Myrtle

Myrtle: What is he wearing? He looks like a woman.
Garrett: Bo? Bo is a woman.
Myrtle: Oh? Lesbians.
Garrett: Big-time.
Myrtle: The whole world's going gay.

 Amy Sosa Quotes

Quote from Lady Boss

Jonah: It wasn't why I was doing it, but I really tapped into something here. These guys are really freaked out about the acquisition.
Amy: Yeah, everybody's freaked out. It's a freaky time. Just tell 'em to take it down and get back to work.
Jonah: Ah, but that'd kinda just be like a Band-Aid, wouldn't it?
Amy: Yeah, Band-Aids heal things. Why does everybody hate Band-Aids?

Quote from Maternity Leave

Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Glenn: What?
Amy: Kill yourself!
Glenn: Amy-
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!