Garrett Quote #73
Quote from Garrett in Guns, Pills and Birds
Garrett: Forget safety... I say we pull the fire alarm, clear out the store, turn up the heat, make the whole place a oven, problem solved.
Dina: Whoa, easy, that's a little violent.
Mateo: Yeah, psycho, why would anyone want to hurt a bird?
Garrett: Okay, A) 'cause they're dirty flying dinosaurs. And B) You don't need any other reasons.
Dina: No one is hurting the crow. They are amazing creatures that recognize human face and they throw each other funerals.
Mateo: Funerals.
Garrett: Why would you give me that information? That doesn't calm me down!
Superstore Quotes
‘Guns, Pills and Birds’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: All right, in order for this to work, it is critical that we run at the crow at exactly the same speed, 8 miles per hour, got it?
Mateo: Yes, ma'am.
Dina: All right.
Mateo: Actually, I don't know how fast that is.
Dina: Sorry, sometimes I forget you're Asian. 13 kilometers per hour.
Mateo: I still don't...
Dina: It's 240 steps a minute.
Mateo: That doesn't mean anything to me.
Dina: Well, I don't know how to make it any clearer.
Mateo: You're just saying just run pretty fast, right?
Dina: "Pretty fast" is a relative term. What's your resting heart rate?
Mateo: I have no idea.
Dina: God, we're gonna have to figure it out now. Okay, take your pulse for ten seconds. You're gonna multiply that number by six.
Quote from Garrett
Jonah: Okay, look, I'm not... I'm not, like, against weapons as a whole. I fenced in college, but there's...
Garrett: [laughs] Okay.
Jonah: What? What are you doing?
Garrett: Oh, I'm keeping a list of all the crazy white-person stuff you say. Oh, fencing, that's definitely going on there.
Jonah: What else is on there?
Garrett: Oh, it's long. I got wearing boat shoes, BBC America, makes his own trail mix...
Jonah: You love my trail mix.
Quote from Myrtle
Myrtle: I don't wanna sell rice anymore. It doesn't taste like anything. And Oriental...