Jeff Quote #81
Jeff: Corporate is just asking that you and the rest of the employees sign here. Then everybody can get back to work, and I can go home, which is a relief 'cause they've got me in a motel out by the airport. It says, "continental breakfast," but it's, like, cereal and toast. I'm like, "I can make that at home."
Dina: Not even a muffin?
Jeff: I didn't look. I was running late.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Morning. How was your night?
Jeff: Oh, not great actually. They put me in a room by the runway, and the noise was just...
Dina: Well, I slept here. Guarded the store with my life. Don't worry, I don't smell. Took a whore's bath in the ladies' room this morning. Just the major stink zones. You know, armpits, posterior, vag. That's, uh, in the front in case you're a homosexual.
Jeff: Yeah, I know where all the parts are, thank you.
Quote from Customer Satisfaction
Jeff: Okay, well, Zephra's looking at the scores and the comments, so it's important that you get positive feedback. Especially this store.
Dina: What's that supposed to mean?
Jeff: There's been some chatter that 1217 is a "problem child" store.
Jeff: I mean, you did damage the store's servers, there's the raccoon infestation, there's Carol's lawsuit, not to mention the multiple attempts at unionizing.
Dina: Well, yeah, of course it's gonna sound bad when you just rattle them off in a row like that. But if you interspersed them with good things we've done or just, you know, random trivia...
Quote from Cheyenne's Wedding
Jeff: [whispers] Shh. This baby's asleep.
Mateo: Have you been at the wedding this entire time?
Jeff: Yes. You saw me when I came in, and then I think we made eye contact when we were both in line for the bathroom a while ago.
Mateo: I don't think so. I... Anyway, um, it's good to see you.
Jeff: Not you. I hate you.
Jeff: Yeah! You dumped me out of nowhere, so of course I hate you. It just sounds funny because I'm whispering. Because I don't want to wake the baby up because... [Harmonica cries] And thank you. Now she's awake. You just can't stop hurting me. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna trade you. You take her. She doesn't like to bounced, okay? [whispers] I hate you. Not you. I love you.