Glenn Quote #45
Quote from Glenn in Secret Shopper
Amy: So, um, you went over my head to Glenn?
Jonah: Well, no, it just sort of came up in conversation...
Glenn: Well, thank God he did. You know, you could stand to learn something from Mr. 100 here. That's a nickname that we came up with.
Jonah: He came up with.
Glenn: Yeah. I could think of a nickname for you too, but you haven't done anything really impressive lately. How about Little Miss "On Time"? Dr. Cool? Workules?
Amy: How about just Amy? Floor Supervisor.
Glenn: Boring. Wait. Bed, Bath, and Beyonce! Huh?
Superstore Quotes
‘Secret Shopper’ Quotes
Quote from Dina
Dina: Condolence cards, huh? Bummer. Who died?
Man: Uh, a friend of mine.
Dina: Hmm. You don't look very upset. Probably not that good a friend. Can I see a death certificate?
Man: I-I don't think I need a death certificate just to buy a card.
Dina: Well, well, well. Look who knows a lot about Cloud 9 store policies. What was your friend's name?
Man: I don't understand...
Dina: How did he die? What did he love? What kind of music was he into? Billy Joel? Everybody's into Billy Joel. Was he a vegetarian or normal? The kind of guy you trust with a lot of money or...
Man: Enough, all right? I see what you're doing, and you're right. By the end, I didn't really know him anymore. May- Maybe I never really knew him. The point is, I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most. [walks off sobbing]
Dina: Hmm. [to a man buying a Bar Mitzvah card] Funny. You don't look Jewish.
Quote from Dina
Jonah: I wonder if they'll send one here.
Dina: A secret shopper? [scoffs] I'd know. I can always sniff out a fake. The only way a secret shopper's getting past me is if he doesn't even know he's a secret shopper. Like Harrison Ford in Blade Runner.
Garrett: I'm gonna say this one more time. Deckard was not a replicant.
Dina: Then explain the friggin' unicorn!
Garrett: Director's Cut doesn't count!
Dina: I can't listen to the Blade Runner debate one more time.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Mateo. What you doing in here?
Mateo: I'm investigating. What if there is no secret shopper? You ever think that corporate is spying on us with a secret employee?
Glenn: Well, no, but now that's all I can think about.
Mateo: You notice how Jonah never talks about what he was doing before this job?
Glenn: Well, sure, but I just figured he was a criminal. You'd be surprised how many of our employees have been.