Mateo Quote #428
Quote from Mateo in Perfect Store
Mateo: You guys are missing the headline here. The store closing could ruin my life.
Garrett: It's not really a Powerball jackpot for any of us.
Mateo: Yeah, but you guys are citizens. You can get any job you want. I need to start thinking of a backup plan.
Sandra: Tony's looking for someone to feed his sharks. The trick is you have to wiggle the food in the water to make it look alive.
Mateo: Okay, so "food wiggler" is the job to beat.
Garrett: Maybe we should just all ask Carol for money.
Mateo: I mean, I guess it's possible she might need a personal assistant.
Sandra: Maybe. You think she'd be cool with paying you cash under the table?
Mateo: Of course. That's how all rich people pay their immigrants. I bet Dianne Wiest hasn't paid a payroll tax in her entire life.
Superstore Quotes
‘Perfect Store’ Quotes
Quote from Jonah
Reporter: This is the first time multiple feet have been delivered at once. Do you believe this is some sort of gruesome final event?
Jonah: I don't know why you think I would have anything useful to say on that front, um, but you know what's never final? Any purchase that you make here. Let me... Let me tell you about our return policy.
Reporter: So you're not concerned this is hurting business? I might think twice about shopping at this store.
Jonah: Okay, yeah, a lot of feet turn up here. I'm sorry we're not literally perfect, Natalie.
Garrett: [watching on TV] Yikes.
Jonah: We just... We... We keep trying to show everybody that we're the perfect store, and the truth is we're not. Okay? We're... We're just us, but we're here every single day. When it rains, when it snows, when it... when it tornadoes, when there's a plague and you're all safe at home, except for when you come here to cough, we're here just... just trying to get you what you need, and... and all we want is to keep doing that.
Reporter: Emotions running high here, preventing people from staying on topic. Back to you, Skip.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Hey, okay, guys, come on. Obviously, Jonah's got some ideas. We haven't even let him talk. Jonah?
Jonah: I mean, I'm not sure that there's anything that we can do. [others groan] I'm just trying to be realistic. I mean, we've been flattened by these guys over and over. I just... Yeah, I don't know what to say.
Cheyenne: Uh, hey, I'm not sure that's an idea so much as a downer, so maybe next time just don't stop the meeting if you don't have anything.
Jonah: Yeah. My bad.
Quote from Carol
Dina: Okay, everybody calm down. They're gonna keep some stores open, and Amy's gonna do everything she can to make sure we're one of them, so there's no need to freak out about this.
Janet: That's easy for you to say. You make manager money. The rest of us, we need this job.
Sandra: Mm-hmm. Well, except Carol.
Carol: Oh, 'cause of my settlement? Hey, I still need this job to keep me grounded. [others groan]
Garrett: Seems to be working so far.