Carol Quote #144

Quote from Carol in Deep Cleaning

Hannah: So that's all I need from you. I'll give you a call if there's any updates.
Carol: Great. And did you get my text about which employees here I think are circumcised?
Hannah: I did. Yes. Uh, I'm sorry. How do you think that helps?
Carol: You're the lawyer.

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 ‘Deep Cleaning’ Quotes

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Okay, I think we can make this work. You know, we'll just pick the fur out, and, you know... and then sort of smush it back together, and then let the good times roll.
Garrett: Come on, Glenn. It's fine. We'll just tell people the party's off.
Glenn: No! People deserve a good time. Come on. We can fix this. Garrett, why aren't you picking and smushing?
Garrett: 'Cause I'm not gonna do that, dude! Just get over it. There's nothing you can do to make people happy. That's just the way it is. The pandemic happened, and everybody had a [bleep] year.
Glenn: You don't think I know that? Look, I gotta try to give them something! I mean, people have been working nonstop for so long, risking their health, you know, and then we didn't even get Christmas. You know, we had to stay at home eating baloney sandwiches and watching church on Facebook Live! I- I- People have missed out on so much. And I just wanna give them, like, one little ray of sunshine, but I guess not! Not in this... piece of crap year! [eats]
Garrett: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Glenn: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm eating raccoon fur. And I don't care!

Quote from Cheyenne

Marcus: So what? Now we have to do a deep clean, like, every year?
Garrett: Yeah, one deep clean a year during a pandemic does sound a little excessive.
Cheyenne: Wow. How has it been a year already? But also, how has it only been a year?

 Carol Quotes

Quote from The Trough

Carol: Today was fun. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm a weirdo, but you made me feel really cool today.
Cheyenne: Aw, can I be real with you a sec? Dina assigned me to hang out with you today to, like, write down any bad or crazy things you did. She said Corporate wanted it.
Carol: My lawyer warned me this might happen.
Cheyenne: But don't worry, I'm not gonna give them anything because, bottom of my heart, you are, like, high-key fire.
Carol: Oh, well, thanks. And I know you won't give them anything because I recorded your little confession. How you stole that makeup? So you screw with me, you get fired.
Cheyenne: Carol, that is so savage. I love you so much right now.
Carol: I know you do. Bye, bitch.
Cheyenne: Goodbye, bitch.

Quote from Easter

Cheyenne: What other private areas do you spy on us in? Are there cameras in the bathroom?
Carol: Oh, my God, are you watching us masturbate at work?
Amy: Uh... no. And you shouldn't be masturbating at work.
Carol: Then how do you know I'm doing it? [raises hand for a high-five]
Cheyenne: I'm good, thanks.