Amy: Oh, hey! Laurie! What's up, girl? It's been, like, forever. [awkwardly hugs Laurie] How's the district manager world? #DMLife, right?
Laurie: Uh, I'm still doing some physical therapy from when you ran me over with the golf cart.
Amy: Yup, yeah. Um, well, anyway, since Glenn is stepping down, I was wondering if, maybe, I could interview for the job.
Laurie: You want to be manager?
Amy: Yeah, um, well, I've been here for 15 years, and I did really well in the Cloud 9 Academy.
Laurie: Oh, wow. Okay. You did the one day, uh, training session near the airport?
Amy: I'm not sure what it being near an airport has to do with anything.
Laurie: I'm sorry. I would really love to interview you, but I actually have another candidate in mind, so...
Amy: Oh. Okay. Great. Yeah. Well, um, if that guy falls through or, you know, if anything else opens up, I... I would love to throw my hat in the ring. Shwoop! Sorry, I just touched your boob.

Glenn: Okay, well, where where where do we begin?
Jonah: I figure we'd knock a few holes through this wall here.
Glenn: What, no! This this wall? This this is the wall that Cody pinned me against when he was learning to drive the forklift.

Blaine: Okay, so I heard that if you look directly into the scanner light, you instantly go blind.
Amy: [to Dina] This weirdly makes me feel better, 'cause it wasn't about me being unqualified. She just wanted to hire her son.
Dina: Yeah, but you can't let her do that. You need to go back up to her and tell her that she needs to either give you a real shot at this job, or you'll go to corporate and tell them about her little nepotism hire.
Amy: No, I'm not gonna go tell on her like I'm 12. Besides, corporate doesn't care. It would be a waste of my time.
Blaine: [to Amy] Hey, um, you're the floor supervisor, right?
Amy: Uh-huh.
Blaine: Great, awesome, um. Can you tell me where inventory is?
Amy: Uh, yeah, it's sort of all around us.
Blaine: Yes, yes, thank you. I will... I will go look into that. Thank you.

Laurie: Amy! "The Aiming of the Shrew."
Amy: Hey, Laurie.
Laurie: I have been meaning to talk to you. I want to make you a manager.
Amy: Um, what? What, uh, me? What about Blaine?
Laurie: He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just you know, I've been thinking about it, and I looked through your file, and clearly, you're the most qualified person here, so...
Amy: Um, wow. That is a lot to take in all of a sudden.
Laurie: Big, big opportunity.
Amy: I know, um, just before I say yes or no, I just want to be clear. Um, if you're offering it to me because I'm the best person for the job, then yes! I will take and I will be kick-ass. But if you're offering it to me because of [sniff] Then, uh, you know, you don't have to do that. It's not like I'm going to go tell anyone.
Laurie: Really? Wow. Okay. I appreciate that. Not too many people would do that. [clicks tongue]
Amy: Thank you. Sorry, wait, I'm sorry. Uh, so where did we land exactly?
Laurie: What do you mean?
Amy: Do I have the job?
Laurie: But I thought you just turned it down.
Amy: Well, no, I mean, that just only if you were offering it to me because of the drug thing, but if you were offering it to me because of my abilities, then...
Laurie: Hmm. So this is awkward.

Amy: And then she just offered me the job.
Dina: This is awesome! You and me, manager, assistant manager? Oh, it's going to be like we're Bush and Cheney. You know, I'm the brains pulling all the strings behind the scenes, and you're the super sexy puppet.
Amy: What? I'm- I'm- I didn't take the job.
Dina: What? Why?
Amy: Because that's not how I wanna get the job. If they're going to hire me, I want it to be because I'm the most qualified person. [Dina sighs]
Blaine: Hey, so I guess we're just out of green beans. Should I get somebody to go buy more from another Cloud 9?
Amy: Is that really what you think you should do?
Blaine: I guess. Right? I just hope they're not selling them for more than we are, or else we're losing money on this. Okay.

Bill: There is a lot of damage around here.
Glenn: Yeah, I know. It was a gang of teenaged hoodlums. You know, slicked hair, leather jackets, combs in their back pockets.
Bill: Uh, total, I'd say you're looking at $18,000 for repairs.
Glenn: $18,000?
Bill: Yeah, there's a lot to do around here.
Glenn: I thought it would be more like $27,000. You never charge me this little.
Bill: The truth is I've been over-billing you for years, but I recently quit drinking and I'm trying to be a better person. I can do it for $15,000, but that's final.
Glenn: $15,000, but that's crazy!
Bill: No, it's not crazy. It's- It's me trying to be a better person. Can you go with me on this one?
Glenn: [meekly] Yeah, okay.

Amy: Hey, Laur of the Rings. [chuckles]
Laurie: Hello, Amy.
Amy: Um, I was thinking a little bit more about about what you said before, uh, regarding, you know, who is a better fit here.
Laurie: Oh, right. Yes, except I already told corporate that I gave the job to Blaine, so-
Amy: Oh, okay. Uh, well, um... Speaking of of telling things to corporate, just wanted to let you know that I... I haven't said anything to them yet about the, um... Cocaina. That's cocaine.
Laurie: Right. Um, thank you. Uh, you are a very good person.
Amy: Well, I mean, am I? [chuckles]
Laurie: [chuckles] [whispers] I don't know.
Amy: I would just really hate for corporate to ever find out, because that would be bad, Laurie-wise.
Laurie: Are you blackmailing me?
Amy: [chuckles] No. No. God, no. No. Sorry.
Laurie: Okay.
Amy: [whispers] Okay, yes, I am blackmailing you! If you don't give me the job, I will call corporate and tell them that you are a huge [bleep] cokehead.

Laurie: Excuse me, folks, can everyone gather up? Um, I'd like to introduce you all to someone. This is, uh, Blaine Neustadt, and he's going to be taking over for Glenn as manager.
Amy: You- You- Uh, excuse me, Neustadt? As in, like, your last name?
Laurie: Uh-huh. Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, but yes, Blaine is my son, but that has nothing to do with why he got hired here.
Marcus: Wow, you do not look old enough to be her son.
Laurie: That's an odd thing to say.
Blaine: Ah, I just want to say hey everyone! Uh, I'm so excited to be here. This is so cool to be part of this great team. Uh, mostly I am very excited to be done doing Postmates. [chuckles] Oh, my car reeks.