‘Maternity Leave’
Season 4, Episode 6 - Aired November 8, 2018
Amy is forced to return to work two days after giving birth when it turns out she's not eligible for maternity leave. Meanwhile, Jonah and Garrett interview a group of seasonal applicants, including Penny (Eden Sher), after disliking Glenn's previous hire.
Quote from Garrett
Kimmer: Excuse me, I'm looking for... [reads hand] Glenn Sturgis.
Jonah: Mm-hmm.
Kimmer: I have an interview for seasonal work. My name's Kimmer with a K.
Jonah: Ah. Is, uh... Did you lose your shoes, or...
Kimmer: I don't believe in shoes.
Both: Oh.
Garrett: Shoes aren't something you believe in. They exist. That's a fact.
Kimmer: Okay. So, Glenn?
Jonah: Uh, straight back, left at grocery.
Kimmer: Namaste. [walks away] Left okay, wait, left where...
Jonah: You want to bet he hires her?
Garrett: She's not wearing shoes. Of course he's gonna hire her.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Do not bring a pretzel salad to Thanksgiving dinner. Please, Elias.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I can't believe how you guys have grown up.
Jonah: Aww.
Glenn: My boys.
Garrett: Oh, okay.
Glenn: My big boys.
Jonah: Little weird.
Glenn: I'm gonna call you my big boys from now on.
Garrett: Oh, don't do that.
Glenn: I love my big, big boys. [hugs Jonah and Garrett]
Garrett: Okay, there it is.
Quote from Jonah
Garrett: Look, we don't have to impress them. You don't have to wear a tie.
Jonah: I never get a chance to wear a tie, so I'm gonna go for it when I can.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: Wow, Penny, you have a lot of references.
Penny: 50. I basically ask anyone I meet. Hey, can I have a reference? I'm just kidding. The thing you have to understand about me is, I have a great sense of humor.
Jonah: Seems it.
Garrett: You do have a lot of retail experience.
Penny: Oh, no. Everything on that resume is a lie. [laughs] I'm kidding. You two should've seen your faces.
Jonah: You don't really have an off switch, do you, Penny?
Penny: I don't! But I did work at a PDQ Mart for two years. I'm not afraid of hard work. Kind of a work horse. [neighs] [laughs]
Garrett: We'll let you know.
Penny: Oh, could you actually let me know today? I have another job offer. "An offer I can't refuse." I also do impressions.
Jonah: We're gonna pass.
Garrett: Yeah, big-time pass.
Jonah: Just a medium-sized pass.
Quote from Glenn
Amy: Hey, Glenn, can I pump in here? The bathroom is disgusting.
Glenn: Oh, you wanna pump your... You want to pump them in here?
Amy: Yeah, if that's okay.
Glenn: Yeah, of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay? I'm not a monster.
Amy: Great.
Glenn: I'll, uh, just get out of here and make room for you. And you can take off your shirt and your bra and get down to it.
Amy: That's how it works, yup.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Oh, wait, hey! Why don't you use the lactation room?
Amy: We have a lactation room?
[cut to:]
Amy: This is a utility closet.
Glenn: No, no. It's more of a multipurpose room. I mean, come on, you put some flowers in here and some candles, and it'll be great.
Amy: Thanks.
Glenn: Yeah.
Quote from Jonah
Garrett: So, um, tell us what your greatest strength is.
Man: My greatest strength, I guess, would be strength.
Jonah: Strength? Physical strength. Okay, and what would your greatest weakness be?
Man: I guess... bullets?
Jonah: Bullets. Good.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: Okay, so why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Man: Well, Jonah. Garrett. What I hear you asking me is, you want me to tell you about myself. Would you say that's correct?
Jonah: Yes, that's what I said.
Quote from Garrett
Man: Pick the chair next to the grizzly, it says courage. Pick the chair near the aisle, says you want to run away.
Garrett: Just pick a damn chair.
Man: [sits down] Boom!
Garrett: Sorry, that's the wrong chair.
Jonah: So close.