Jonah: Wow, that is what I would imagine a cloud would taste like.
Amy: What does that even mean?

Jeff: "Best friends" on three. One... two... best friends.

Glenn: Okay, so, after the twirl, you just pull the ribbon through and voila. Easy-peasy.
Garrett: Okay, I guess.
Dina: Yeah, I mean, if you're going for something that's kind of generic-looking.

Amy: I know it's so bad for your teeth, but I love chewing on ice.
Jonah: You have so many interests that I don't know about.
Amy: So cold.

Jonah: Oh, look, look, look, look. It's our best friends.
Amy: Ted! Kent! Get over here you sons of bitches.
Kent: Oh, damn are we getting turnt over here?
Amy: Turnt!
Jonah: [Southern accent] Oh yeah, we are getting turnt.
Amy: We were just laughing about the fact that we get all this free stuff, and the floor workers get nothing. [laughter]
Ted: Yeah, that is pretty funny.
Jonah: All right, all right. Here's a joke: How many floor workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Kent: How many?
Jonah: Shut up! You're fired. [laughter]
Kent: I don't even get it.
Jonah: Me neither, Kent, me neither.

Jonah: [Souther accent] Okay, what's the difference between a floor worker and a two-legged chair?
Kent: Here we go.
Jonah: Two-legged chair don't make $8.50 an hour for being useless. [laughter] Shut up! You're fired. It's just getting better!

Amy: Oh, I got one, I got one. How do you get out of giving benefits to a full-time employee?
Ted: How?
Amy: Make them two part-time employees.
Jonah: Boom! Chien is killing it.
Kent: That's actually a good idea, though.
Ted: Yeah, you just tell every full-timer that they're now actually two part-timers. You save a ton.

Dina: Wow.
Garrett: Yeah.
Dina: You know, of all the times we made love, we never made anything this beautiful.
Garrett: Why would you say that?
Woman: So, can I-
Dina: You can get another one in aisle six.
Garrett: Yeah, but we're not gonna wrap it. We're going out on top.
Woman: Okay, I'll go get another.
Garrett: Just get another one.
Dina: Okay.