‘Mall Closing’
Season 5, Episode 4 - Aired October 17, 2019
Amy is excited by all the new footfall after the local mall shut down, until she realizes the new patrons aren't there to shop. Meanwhile, Jonah tries to give Mateo money, and Cheyenne realizes she's no longer as young and cool as she once was.
Quote from Amy
Amy: As the manager here, I just wanted to welcome you with some muffins, and here are your receipts. Just hang on to those in case any employees try to give you static about not buying any. Ugh. Lame-Os.
Tylor: Why are you being nice to us?
Amy: Just because I know kids need to eat after school. Not because I have any. I don't. I can't. I rode too many horses. I'm an equestrian... a champion equestrian.
Emma: Thanks for the muffins! Bye!
Amy: Okay, bye.
Tylor: Um, what was that about?
Emma: Oh, it's nothing.
Quote from Amy
Dina: [laughs] Oh, Amy, you're very good. All right, this is how this is gonna go. I'm gonna give you six minutes to eat, then... five kids, two bathroom stalls, two minutes per poop... at 4:39, you'll officially be loiterers again.
Tylor: You know what? Let's just go.
Amy: No, no, no, hold on. I'm sorry my colleague here hasn't heard the new store policy...
Dina: Amy...
Amy: Which is that there is no minimum purchase, and you can stay till the store is closed, and we're not gonna bother you anymore. So, uh, just do whatever.
Tylor: Really? I got to text Blaze and Rustin.
Dina: Blaze and Rustin? We're sunk.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: Oh, my God, I made it.
Mateo: Damn it! I'm down 100 bucks.
Jonah: What the hell?
Garrett: I don't know, man. I didn't mean to, but... Did you guys see that shot?
Mateo: You didn't meant to?
Jonah: Uh, Mateo's confused, and the rule in gambling is, if anybody's confused, they get all of their money back.
Mateo: Wait, have you guys just been trying to trick me into taking your money?
Garrett: Yes, that's exactly what we were doing, but did you guys see the shot? That's what's important here.
Mateo: So all this was a charity?
Jonah: In practice, it was a lot more like robbery.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Hey, I just confiscated this. It's been filled with bleach. Now, I'll be the first to admit, that is a funny concept. But, come on, it's time for these kids to go.
Amy: No, Dina, it's going so well with Emma. She just told me that I wasn't being too weird.
Dina: Congratulations. That said, we need to get them out of here before something like this happens. [sprays gun at Eugene]
Eugene: Ooh, whoops. Sorry about that.
Dina: Go re-vest.
Amy: Okay. Okay, fine. Do it. But if Emma asks, you acted alone.
Dina: No problem. If I see and happen to recognize Emma, I will pass that on.
Quote from Mateo
Jonah: Oh, Mateo, you obviously didn't have to...
Mateo: I chose to make those bets. I'm gonna pay you what I owe you.
Jonah: $4.
Mateo: Slowly.
Quote from Jonah
Mateo: Like, this is all my fault. I knew Jonah had a gambling thing, but I just thought that meant he was good at it. Why would you have a hobby that you suck at?
Jonah: Okay, you know what? If I suck, why don't you just bet against me this time? It'll give you a chance to erase the debt.
Mateo: No, thanks. You've messed with me enough already.
Jonah: Oh, come on, come on, we'll just flip a coin, you know. If you win, then we're square. If you lose, then, you know, whatever. Double screwed is just screwed, right?
Mateo: That's really smart.
Garrett: Is it?
Quote from Dina
Eugene: Hmm, what about, like, the mall?
Amy: Eugene, you're excused.
Eugene: Okay.
[Mason walks into the break room and heads for the staff microwave]
Dina: Oh, God, they've breached. That's it. It's their store now.
Mason: What'd you say?
[Dina shrugs]
Quote from Dina
Amy: Yeah, I guess this is a losing battle. I mean, the more I try and get to her, the further she runs away.
Dina: Because you're lame. You're lame as hell.
Amy: In Emma's eyes.
Dina: Among other places. Amy, the things you've been suppressing are exactly what we need. You're not some hip checked-out mom. You're a smothering, doting, teary mess, and we need to show those children that mess in all its horrifying glory.
Quote from Amy
Hannah: Uh, what is all this?
Amy: We just wanted to let you know that we believe in you.
Quote from Dina
Mason: Uh, uh, why are you taking my picture?
Dina: Mason, right? Congratulations, Mason. You're our Teen of the Week. I'm gonna put this picture on our website, on the Internet.